Keeping Toddlers Out of Jail

Christmas trip video part 7 of 7 again...

2012-01-13T22:46:00.000-08:00

The youtube police busted me for using illegal music..Hopefully this one works.

Christmas trip video part 6 and 7 of 7

2012-01-12T09:04:00.000-08:00

Part 4 of 7 again...this time with sound..

2012-01-12T09:01:00.001-08:00

Seems I went a little too far with my copyright infringement and youtube took away my audio. So me, Jay-Z, and Snoop Dog (think Beatles and Beach Boys, but 60 years younger) had a little chat and I got the audio back up.

Christmas trip video part 5 of 7

2012-01-11T08:26:00.001-08:00

Christmas trip video part 4 of 7

2012-01-11T08:24:00.000-08:00

Christmas trip video part 3 of 7

2012-01-10T16:02:00.000-08:00

The videos are best seen on youtube's site. For some reason when you watch it on the blog, a small portion of the screen is cut off.

Christmas trip video part 2 of 7

2012-01-10T15:56:00.000-08:00

Family video from our Christmas trip

2012-01-10T06:42:00.000-08:00

Caleb Playing for Gonzaga

2011-09-20T04:01:00.000-07:00

Caleb's soccer team, The Spokane Pumas, was invited to Gonzaga Men's soccer game last week. As the Zag's guests, each kid was escorted by a Zag player during the teams introductions. And then at half-time, they school set up some smaller goals on the pitch and the Pumas played in a short scrimmage. The crowd cheered on the kids as if they were the stars!

Grown-up Hair Cut

2011-09-20T03:44:00.000-07:00

It needed to be done! After someone came up from behind me last week and said, "excuse me ma'am", it was time to get a trim.

This may not be big news in your world, but it is in mine!

Before

After

First Day of School Fall 2011

2011-09-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

Both Caleb, 9, and Abby, 7, have been excited for a few weeks to return to school. Abby was especially excited to be at school for the full day and enjoy the fine cuisine of the elementary cafeteria and of course, recess. Hearing her talk about recess makes me miss recess!

As a parent, I couldn't be more proud of how well they are doing in school. They both are confident and happy to start the adventure of a new school year.

The night before the 1st day of school I had a nice chat with both Caleb and Abby separately. Abby told me that she was nervous that she didn't know everyone in her class. And sometimes it takes her a long time to learn every kids' names. I assured her that she'd learn their names soon enough. Ever the social butterfly, it will only be a matter of days before her new teacher will be asking Abby to not be chit-chatting during work-time.

Caleb and I had a nice chat about swear words. I asked Caleb if he knew what swear words were and if he hears them much. Caleb likes to pretend to be much more innocent than he really is, like he's never heard any cuss words. When I asked him if he knew any swear words, his smooth answer was, "they always beep out the words, so I don't know what they're saying". We went over many swear words and their respective definitions with the instructions that he never use them. We'll see how well that works out.

Monica and I have taken advantage of the free day-care and warm weather by spending the last few days together, including a great day of just floating on the boat staring into each others eyes.

Maybe Jail is a Possibility for Abby

2011-05-20T13:02:00.000-07:00

It took Abby a few months after Caleb tried to set the house on fire, but she was able to set her place in Wallaces' Funniest Stories as well. Monica has started substitute teaching which takes her out of the home sometimes while Abby is still in half-day kindergarten. We've tried to coordinate the days Mon teaches with days that I'm not working, but there are days when I get home at 8 AM, get the kids off to school, go to bed an hour later at 9, then I have to wake up in 3 hours at 12 noon to get Abby off the bus (it's school district policy that they won't let kindergartners off the bus unless a parent is present), get her some lunch and then she plays around house alone while I get some more sleep. Abby has an amazing imagination and can entertain herself very well, so it's worked out quite well.

Except on one cool day in April, we had this same scenario and as I went back to sleep around 1:00, I heard the answering machine pick up, and again, and again, and a 4th time. Both kids know not to answer the phone unless it reads 'Wallace' or 'Foster' on the caller ID, so it was no surprise that Abby didn't answer the phone, but I wondered who kept calling. I got up and looked at the phone which read a Spokane number. I called back the number, but it was a disconnected number. Seemed a little strange, but after asking Abby if everything was OK, I went back to bed. A few minutes later, the door bell rang. The door bell ringing is a strange sound at our home considering our location, we very rarely get unexpected visitors living out of town. I listened closely in bed to the see if Abby was answering the door, and started to again get out of bed. In my half-asleep state, I not only heard Abby open the door, but also a man's voice and him entering the house! I quickly jumped up and ran to the entry way to find a county sheriff standing with Abby. Realizing I was standing in my nothing but my underwear, I asked if everything was OK. The sheriff told me that he was responding to a 911 hang-up call. I was stunned and looked over at Abby who had her chin buried in her chest. I asked Abby if she had called 911 and she could barely move. As the cobwebs started to clear in my mind, I started to see the situation from the officer's perspective of a 911 call by a little girl with a man walking around in his underwear at 1:00 in the afternoon. After excusing myself to put on some pants, I came into the entry way with the officer asking Abby if everything was OK and if there was anything she needed to tell him. I understood his concern and tried to explain to him that I had worked the night shift and that she had just gotten home from school, but I'm not really sure he believed me. He left and Abby and I had a little chat about 911 calls, that they are for real.

(This blog story has neither a pic of the sheriff or of me in my underwear)

Maybe Jail is a Possibility for Caleb

2011-05-18T21:39:00.001-07:00

When I named this blog 'Keeping Toddlers out of Jail', I did it with a little jest and the idea that I've set the bar low for my parenting skills. Turns out, I may have been more accurate than I had hoped. Both Caleb, 8, and Abby, 6, have given us reasons to be concerned.

Last fall, I took a trip to San Francisco with some buddies to see Gonzaga's basketball team play. It's a trip that we've made for a couple years and it's always a blast. While gone, Monica and I text each other frequently. We're texting addicts and we love to keep each other informed as well as send fun messages.

On one evening in San Fran I got a phone call from Mon, which is slightly unusual since we text so much. When I answered she started screaming to me how Caleb had lit the living room on fire. My first question was whether the room was still on fire? She said she had put in out with the fire extinguisher, but that the house was full of smoke. She finally calmed down enough to let me know what had happened.

While Monica was upstairs taking a shower, Caleb decided to make a fire. We heat our home mostly with a wood stove and Caleb has built fires before in the stove, but under parental supervision. During the colder months, we have a fire going all day and all night. Caleb has been taught the rules of a safety around fires, both in the house and at camp fires. But he decided to take our cardboard box full of paper trash, (junk mail, paper trash, old homework, etc) that we use to start the fires, place it on the brick hearth and see if it would burn. And burn it did! We're told that the flame reached up near our eight-foot ceiling. Abby and Caleb made a few attempts at putting out the fire with some cups of water before Abby ran upstairs and started yelling at Monica that there was a fire in the living room.

It's easy to understand that Monica did not take the screaming very serious at first since A) Abby has a flare for the dramatic, B) There is always a fire in the living room and C) Couldn't this wait until after the shower? Mon did get out of the shower and went downstairs in her towel to see the entire paper-box engulfed in flames. Mon made a quick, smart decision and grabbed the fire extinguisher which sits next to the fireplace and sprayed out the fire.

With the average heart rate of 220 between the kids and Monica, she knew that everyone was safe but that the house was completely full of smoke and that our son would be sorely missed while attending military school. (But not as sore as his backside would be had I been home). Several days later the scent of smoke was all gone. The biggest mess turned out to be the detergent that the fire extinguisher expelled all over the hearth.

Caleb was traumatized and threatened to run away for a few days, but rest assured, he won't be playing with fire anytime soon.

You can see the little cup that the kids used in their first attempt at putting out the fire

This the box sitting on the back deck waiting for me when I got home from San Francisco.

2/26/2011 2nd Grade YMCA Basketball Sonics vs Wolfpack

2011-02-28T01:41:00.000-08:00

One of the parents on Caleb's basketball team made this video of their team. They are the green
team and call themselves the Sonics (which I personally think is like putting some salt in the wound). They're a great team. There is a little footage of Caleb in the video. He's number 4. Around the 3:00 mark, Caleb takes the rebound coast to coast for a shot.
It's been a blast watching him play again this year. It's a different league than in years past and has been really good for him to play for a good coach and with other players of his level.

Abby's Highlights Video (Age 0-6)

2010-12-18T04:11:00.000-08:00

There was no way I was going to get away not making a video for princess Abby!
Here are some of the highlights of our videos and pictures of Abby.

Monica tries boogie boarding

2010-12-16T10:36:00.000-08:00

And the video editing continues. This is from our cruise this last fall in the eastern Caribbean. Monica had wanted to go on a cruise for a long time but the idea of sitting around poolside and stuffing myself with food never sounded appealing. But Mon kept the pressure on and found a way to save money by teaching scrap booking classes on-board and also found a cruise ship that had a wave ( flow rider) on it. She knew saving money and surfing are two ways to change my heart.

We had fantastic time. I was blown away by how much fun I had. From dancing, sailing, eating, meeting a ton of cool people, and riding the flow rider, we had great time.

Monica spent most her mornings resting poolside or doing scrap booking stuff while I hung out with the teenagers at the flow rider. Surfing the wave proved to be pretty tough and I'm certainly not going to be joining any pro-tours soon. But the boogie boarding was surprisingly fun. After several days, I finally talked Mon into giving it a try.

****Again, I'm realizing when I post videos on the blog from Youtube, the widescreen video doesn't fit very well in the window provided and also the advertisements are placed directly over my witty comments. To avoid both these problems I suggest clicking on the Youtube button on the bottom right and watching the video from YouTube's site. From there you can click on the 'x' on the ads and they'll go away.

Caleb's Highlights Video Ages 0-8

2010-12-15T14:20:00.000-08:00

Here's my new creation. It makes me very proud to see all the things that Caleb likes to do. I'm very blessed to have two perfect children.

They YouTube advertisements cover up some of my fancy editing, so it's better to watch on Youtube's site and then close out the ads as they pop up.

Video Time

2010-12-14T13:19:00.000-08:00

Santa came early and brought me a new laptop with new video editing.

Here's my first video.

I finally captured one of Caleb's goals on video. He scores a lot, but I never had the video recorder ready. The video starts as the opposing team was throwing the ball from the side line, but they had two illegal throw-ins, (the first one, Caleb tried to head butt the ball). Then the ref gave the ball to Caleb's team and Caleb quickly ran to the open space, got the pass and scored the goal. That a Boy!!!

Or you can watch it in HD here

Caleb Wakeboarding

2010-09-01T18:58:00.000-07:00

Though it's been a fairly cool summer, we've still managed to spend a good amount of time at our favorite summer place, Loon Lake. Monica's parents have a place out there on the water that provides us with ample opportunity for all kinds of water sports. We had many days at the lake this summer, but the highlight has to be watching Caleb, 8, learn to wakeboard. He showed some interest in wakeboarding after watching some of my wakeboarding DVD's this last winter and as the weather got warmer, he kept talking about it. So for my birthday, I bought Caleb and Abby a wakeboard. Abby decided to stick mostly to kneeboarding, but Caleb was excited to learn how to wakeboard. He tried many times over several days, only tolerating a few crashes at a time before getting back in the boat. But he never got discouraged and was eager to try again the next time out on the boat. He eventually started to pick it up and before we knew it, he was wakeboarding for a few minutes at a time.

It's always emotional for me to see my kids accomplish something new. I feel like a sap of a parent as I cheer them on from the outside, but bursting with tears on the inside. And watching Caleb wakeboard was no different. Caleb especially loves to wakeboard when we have guests on the boat. He's becoming quite the ham (He must get that from his Mom). Though he tries to maintain a serious look on his face and it takes all the energy he has to not let show his big cheesy grin. It's quite the site and once again makes me feel very thankful for he and Abby in my life.

Abby's Power

2010-08-29T05:13:00.000-07:00

Recently, Abby came up to Monica and me and told us how the deer come up to her when she plays her toy recorder. She then showed us the wind instrument and even danced around the kitchen like some sort of snake trainer. Mon and I looked her and then each other, and laughed at our perfect little princess. Abby does have quite the imagination and expresses random thoughts nearly every day about her being a princess, librarian, or a rock star.

She is our self-entertainer and can be found in her room playing hours on end with dolls, singing to herself, or teaching her stuffed animals how to read. So when she told us of her new talent of being some sort of deer whisperer, it was easy to down-play as a make-believe story. And then something extraordinary happened a few weeks ago. Abby quietly yelled for Monica and me to come to the front door to see the deer she had called over. When we got to the front door and looked out the screen door, we both could barely believe our eyes. Abby had played her small recorder-like instrument at the front door and apparently a small fawn walked right up to the front porch, never loosing eye-contact with Abby. It was amazing. Mon told me to take a picture with my phone to prove that it really did happen. I always knew that Abby was an angel sent from the heavens, and this may be the proof.

A Great Big Hole

2010-08-22T16:01:00.000-07:00

Keeping our yard green through the summer takes a good amount of effort. We have no sprinkler system and with a couple acres of grass it means a lot of moving around hoses and sprinklers. I've come to love our little traveling sprinklers that I can turn on at night and they water a large portion of lawn while we sleep. We probably have 400 feet of hoses that feed different areas of our yard, including Wallace park (our flat yard in front that's approximatly 1.5 acres of grass). The vast majority of the water comes from one outside faucet, a frost free yard hydrant to be exact.
A few days ago as I was heading out of town for a boys camping trip, I went to turn on the water and noticed no water was coming out of the yard hydrant. I literally had the car packed and running when I discovered that something was wrong. I knew that not watering the lawn for 5-6 days could potentially cause a lot of damage, but my plans of camping sounded a lot better than fixing the problem. And I was right, camping was a lot more fun than fixing the problem.
When I got home I started investigating what could be the problem and hoped that it was just bad valve in the hydrant. The only problem was that hydrants are buried deep in the ground to avoid freezing and I had no idea how deep. My trusty Kubota back hoe would be the perfect tool in digging up the hydrant, but it is inches away from our well and main water line, which meant that after scratching the surface with the tractor, it was down to me and the shovel.
I gave myself a little head start on digging with the tractor, but then I had to start digging by hand...and digging...and digging...and digging. I followed the hydrant down 3-4 feet and started to wonder if I had some different type of faucet or hydrant. I made some calls to some different home-improvement stores and found that one of them carried an 8-foot hydrant, 2 feet above ground and 6-feet below ground. What are the chances that I owned the house with the elusive 8-foot hydrant? Why would I be writing this blog post if it weren't the case?
I ended up have to dig 6 1/2 feet down. At around the 5 foot mark, it was too hard to throw the dirt out of the hole, so I just put the dirt to the side inside the hole and essentially dug a smaller shovel-sized hole at the bottom of my big hole where I could get on my knees and bend over with my shoulder on the ground to reach the bottom of the hydrant. Once the hole was dug, it was an easy fix of just unscrewing the old unit and replacing it with the new one.
I spent the good portion of an entire day on that hole, and the problem seems to be fixed. It's days like this that owning a condo sound really nice.

Caleb's iPod

2010-07-25T21:19:00.000-07:00

For Caleb's birthday we bought him an ipod itouch. While your picking your jaw up off the ground wondering why I would spend more than $15 on my kids birthday gift, let me attempt to justify the purchase. We don't have a game console like a Wii or an Xbox and the $200 iPod and the hundreds of free or $1 games is much cheaper in the long run. Caleb has been playing with my iPhone for a long time it had become quite annoying that he always had my phone. It's been amazing how fast he's learned to navigate around my phone. I'm not sure if that means that Apple makes very user-friendly products or that Caleb is a genius? The clincher on buying the iTouch was that he was able to send texts while in wifi range. I knew that he'd love to communicate with me, Monica, and his extended family via text and since he's had it, he's struck up funny conversations with his Grandpa Wallace and other family members. On this first night with his text capabilities, he chatted with me a few times while I was at work and then ended the texting chat with "I'm going to sleep now. P.S. don't text me back." How cool is that?

He's learned all about his new toy since he had it and has even stated teaching me things. Compared to the other toys that's he's gotten that only keep his attention for a few days, he's always wanting to play with his iPod. Which brings me to the last reason that we bought him an ipod touch, leverage. With even a simple threat of taking away is iPod, we're seeing an great amount of behavior improvements. He's even doing his chores more! It may sound mean to some (probably people without kids), but leverage works great with kids. Just ask Santa Claus.

Mt. Hood with the Wallaces

2010-07-25T12:18:00.000-07:00

We spent a week with my parents, brother, sister and their families at Mt. Hood, OR in July. My parents rented a house in Government Camp, OR where we all slept, yes, all of us. That's nine kids under the age of eight, for those at home counting.

We spent a day playing at local ski resort, Ski Bowl, that they've set up with all kinds of rides and games for the summer season. The highlight of the day was the alpine slide that we played on most of the morning. Describing the slide is similar to that of a mile long water slide, but without the water. We rode up to the top on the ski lift and then down the slide on plastic sleds. Since most of us adults had little kids with us, we were given different sleds to accommodate two people, and we soon learned that these two-man sleds were much faster than the other ones. Todd, Josh and I were soon racing as fast as we could down the mountain, but unlike most testosterone-raged races, we had small children with us for padding in the event of a crash. Even the kids had had blast. The five older kids Caleb, 8, Jaxon, 7, Michelle, 7, Abby, 6, Chase, 6, (our niece, Michelle, was also with us) rode up the lift and down the slide non-stop.

We did have one incident that day when Chase crashed his sled. We're still not sure exactly what happened, but somehow he ended upside-down on the slide. Caleb claims that Chase was going so fast that he ran into the back of Caleb's sled and crashed. Which begs the question, why was Caleb going so slow? But an adult who was on the lift above the crash said that Chase wasn't near anyone when he crashed. Since I know Chase's and Caleb's dads well and I'm very familiar with the trouble they caused as kids, I tend to believe that we're not getting the whole story. We may never know.

We also spent a day at OMSI in Portland. A great place that every kid in the Northwest should see. The kids got to see all kinds exhibits from dinosaurs to a tour of an actual submarine. My personal highlight was in a certain area of the museum where there were a bunch of types of puzzles and mind-teasers, and we all tried to solve them. Unfortunately for me, it was another one of those days that I have realized that I was adopted. To see my parents, brothers, sisters, and wife struggle so mightily with simple illusions was quite painful. I helped them as much as possible, but there was only so much I could do with their feeble minds.

(* Quick side-note before I see my wife and am banished to to basement couch, I may have gone to the information desk a few times at OMSI and looked up the answers to the questions. Some may call this cheating, by I call it using all my resources).

The other major activity of the trip was a day spent at the Portland Zoo. The kids had a great time seeing and learning about all the different animals. We even saw the elephants poo and pee again. I'm starting to believe there is a genetic trait in elephants that causes them to relieve themselves around my children.

The trip was a complete success. The days spent as a family are always filled with our own special mixture of laughter, cynicism, and political rants. The kids adored the time spent with their cousins. The food is always excellent and I'm fairly certain I gained 10 lbs.

A huge thanks goes to my Mom and Dad for all their generosity. We all had a fantastic time.

Please click on the link below to see the pictures from the vacation.

http://picasaweb.google.com/clintrn/WallaceFamilyReunionSummer10?feat=directlink

Spring Update

2010-07-25T11:24:00.000-07:00

I know, I know...it's been too long since I've posted on the blog, I'll try to be better. Here's a few highlights of the last few months.

*In a recent conversation with Caleb (8) about what he wanted to be when he grows up, he was naming off the different proffessional sports, trying to select just one. Abby, who usually says that she wants to be the lady at the library that scans the books, joined in the converstation by asking, "Dad, do rock-stars make money?" I laughed and said that indeed, rock-stars do make lots of money and then she anounced that she wanted to be a rock-star.

*We made a quick trip to Medford over Memorial weekend. The kids spent the whole time with Grandma, Grandpa, and cousins. While Monica and I ran a booth for her business at a scrapbook convention. Mon does a show like this 2-3 times a year, but this was the first time I had worked with her. I came away with a whole new perspective on Mon's business. I learned that Monica works very hard at these shows, not enouch play time for me. And I also learned that Monica is very popular amoung the scrapbookers of the Northwest. She's a celebrity! 1000 miles of driving in 5 days later and we were home.

Putting the sexy back into Scrapbooking

Wallace Men with a little Fyer

*I hate to become one of those parents who always boasts about how awesome their kids are...but my kids are awesome! Caleb has been doing very well in baseball this spring! You'll have to trust my biased opinion that he kicks butt. He's played 8-9 games so far and he's had a home run in every game. And yes, it's true that in his coach-pitch league, a ball hit into the outfield can usually turn into a home-run as long as the kid keeps running around the bases, but Caleb has had some great hits. Caleb, Abby and I usually play baseball, soccer, or football several days a week at Wallace Park (our huge front yard), so Caleb has had a lot of time with a bat and a glove. It's hard to tell if he's better than the other kids due to playing a lot more or if he has some natural talent, but one thing is for sure, he and I are both having a blast during little league.

*Our little princess Abby turned 6 in May. This spring she asked several times to learn how to ride a "two-wheeler" or a bike without training wheels. I must admit that though my kids have had many more opportunities than most kids (skiing, boating, motorcycles, etc.), niether kid has had the chance to spend much time on their bikes. Since we have a gravel driveway and live on top of a hill, riding around the house isn't ideal. Infact, we keep their bikes at Grandma and Grandpa Foster's house since they live in a traditional nieghborhood cul-de-sac. But Abby wasn't going to be denied her chance of being a "big girl" and after a few practice runs with me and her Grandpa Foster, she was flying around the neighboorhood with the other kids. We were given a older Barbie bike that she used despite it's wobley rear wheel. But to someone who's never riden a bike, she probably thought all bikes shook back and forth as they were ridden. After a couple months of doing the bike version of the Jitter-bug dance, she saw a newer, cleaner, less crooked(er) Disney Princess Bike. After a little haggeling with Abby doing her best puppy-face impression, she now has a bike at home that she rides nearly everyday. Which was quite comical at the beggining since we only have a small 30 feet by 30 feet concrete pad so she would just ride in circles all the time. She's since sprouted her wings and is now riding her bike up and down our long gravel driveway.

Princess Abby with Grandpa Wallace

Abby playing with her cousin Ella in Medford

Caleb's birthday. We're a fine looking family!

Easter Traditions

2010-04-11T17:58:00.000-07:00

I think it's now official: We have Easter family traditions. For the last few years, the Spokane Foster family has met out our house for an egg hunt and great food. It's always nice getting everyone together and letting the kids play.

We had another nice Easter Sunday with the usual activities. The only difference this year were that Caleb no longer believed the story of a bunny sneaking into our house bringing gifts and hiding eggs. He kept asking questions about how a bunny could pull off such a feat, and after asking to have his Mom explain several times, I broke down and told him it's all a fun story for little kids (and to boost commercial sales of eggs and chocolate). He promised not to tell his little sister, Abby, but we'll see how long that lasts.

The kids all sporting their new T-shirts from Grandma and Grandpa Foster. Some kids are apparently more happy with their shirts than others.

The oldest and the youngest of the Foster grand kids, Caleb and Zoe.

Abby and Caleb Easter Morning.

What would Easter be without guns and balls?

Spring Break in the Snow

2010-04-10T05:14:00.000-07:00

Spring Break in Spokane is a little different than what I was accustomed to while growing up in southern Oregon, mainly because it usually involves snow. And even this year, with record low amounts of snow, we still had snow over spring break. But by doing what's becoming a family tradition, we took full advantage and hit the slopes. We were even blessed with 8 inches of the fresh stuff on the last Saturday of the season, ironically making the last day of the year one of the best days of the year .
Caleb and Abby continue to get better and better at skiing. Particularly Caleb has grown into quite an aggressive skier. He's doesn't have the best form yet, but what he lacks in skill, he makes up for in courage. He loves to brag to anyone who will listen that he thinks the ski runs that are rated as 'black diamond' are "easy". It is true that he'll go down just about any slope on the mountain, but I'm not sure why he has to boast about it all the time? He must get that cockiness from his Mom.
Caleb did humble himself one time while tree skiing when he fell into a large hole under a tree where there was no snow. I was in front and by the time I realized he had crashed and taken off my snowboard, he was in tears wondering if anybody was going to find him. Poor kid was in a hole taller than him, and stuck at such an angle that he couldn't reach down to take off his skis. I had to lye on my stomach to reach down and pull him out. But after wiping away the big tears and a short hug, he was flying down the mountain again.
We also filled up some Spring Break days with other activities like going to a few movies and watching our local Arena Football team the Spokane Shock. The movie after a day of skiing wiped out poor Abby (see picture below), but not to worry, Caleb and I took care of her popcorn and drink. And the Shock games are always a blast. Of course they lost (mainly because I was rooting for them and attended the game), but we had a great time and we all got a free Taco Bell Chalupa since they scored 65+ points. Go Shock!!
It would be nice to have spring weather during spring break one year, but until then we'll continue to take advantage of our time together.

He requested this picture with the double black diamond name plate in the back ground.

This is a ski run that Monica doesn't even go down.

You didn't think I was going to spend the money and buy good seats did you?

Movie time. Thank goodness she wore her sun glasses to the movie???

Caleb and his homeless looking smile.

Losing Ways

2010-04-05T17:06:00.001-07:00

The last month has treated me well...kinda. I've had the chance to go see some of my favorite teams play in person. Some buddies from work and I went down to the bay area to watch Gonzaga play against the University of Santa Clara and University of San Francisco. Though an avid sports fan all my life, I can count on one hand how many big-time games I've seen in person. And the games didn't let me down. The Zags didn't play well against either team, but the atmosphere was electric in both of them. I can see why fans can really get hooked on attending college basketball games. They did beat Santa Clara...barely, but they lost to the Dons of USF a few nights later.
It wasn't but a few weeks later that my Dad treated my brother in law, my brother, and me to a Utah Jazz game against the Sacramento Kings. Anybody who knows me, knows I'm a very big fan of the Jazz. Ever since boyhood, I've followed the Jazz closely along with the rest of my family. We met in Sac-town, ate some great barbecue and then headed to the stadium and our third row seats! I've gone to a few NBA games, but never sat this close to the game. We all wore Jazz shirts and stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by King fans. We got noticed by a few players and even saluted by Carlos Boozer during warm ups. (my knees almost buckled, do you think he likes me??) The Jazz didn't play well, even though they came into the game on a win streak and were playing against one of the worst teams in the league. They lost by a few points but it was still a cool adventure. NBA games are very different from college games, it's much more entertainment than the pure basketball that college games provide. It was great to hang with the Wallace men (and Fryer I suppose) for an evening.
Then a few weeks later, I set out for Las Vegas to watch Gonzaga play in their conference tournament. Because they had the best record of the conference, they had a bye to the semi-finals. Which meant they only had to win two games. Gonzaga had a huge following and the arena was 90% zag fans and they were there to party! The crowd was screaming every play for the essential home team. They played well their first game, but struggled mightily during the conference finals and lost. Are you sensing a trend here? Me too. Maybe I should stick to cheering my teams from the comforts of my own living room....

Turkey Take Over

2010-01-25T13:55:00.000-08:00

We live in a beautiful place. We love our house, but we especially love the location. We're surrounded by empty acreage which makes our relatively small five acres feel like hundreds. One of the great things that we've come to enjoy is the wild life. Aside from the gophers, who we've made enemies with, the rest of the animals are majestic to watch in there natural settings...until now.

The turkeys have been our on again/off again friends. Friends when they hang out outside the lawn, NOT friends when they stay on the lawn and....cough...cough...leave "fertilizer" all over the place. Because, please remember, though turkeys are birds, they don't leave behind cute little turkey...muffins, they leave behind dinosaur-sized muffins!

It's usually not that bad since the turkeys normally hang out in groups of 10-15. But this winter, the turkey (flocks? cackles? groups? posse's?) have combined for some reason to amass in numbers of 60-80!! I tried to count them a few times and I got up to 67 before they scattered.

I'm not sure of these turkeys' master plan. But I'm a little concerned about a hostile take-over with their sharp talons. If we are attacked by turkeys, don't tell me that I didn't warn you.

Tooth fairy

2010-01-21T11:22:00.000-08:00

Caleb, 7, had been close to loosing one of his front teeth for a couple weeks. I had offered to pull the tooth out using various methods we researched on youtube, but Caleb was insistent that he wanted his tooth to come out at school where the kids receive a special box to take it home.

A few days ago, Caleb came home from school with his cheesy grin missing a key ingredient. He explained to us that he had pulled the tooth out himself in the bathroom and had also administered the first-aid needed while alone? A curious story in itself, but we didn't pry much. He was very excited though, enough to overcome the lack of 'special boxes' that the school had apparently run out. He was mostly focused on the arrival of the tooth fairly.

Monica has a cute little bag that the kids put their dead teeth in when placing them under the pillows before night, and that night was no exception. What did change that evening was Abby, 5, caught a case of the barfo-rama's that kept Mon and I up every hour or so through the night. (We're still training Abby to throw up in the toilet or a bowl...and though she's getting better, 'close' doesn't really count in the throw-up game).

As we all woke up and started our morning routine, Caleb came up to Mon and me in the kitchen and announced that the tooth fairy had forgotten him! Whoops! Mon and I immediatly shared some eye contact full of shame, we had completely forgotten about Caleb's tooth. Crisis-control took over and I started to fumble out some sort of story for Caleb as Monica ran upstairs to remedy the situation. Mon quickly placed some money under Caleb's pillow, but not before she found this letter on his bed:

For those who are 1st grader illiterate, it says:

Dear tooth fairy, why did you not come to me and get my tooth.

Write on the back of the paper. P.S. I hope you get my tooth.

Now let's all let out a collective sigh. Ahhhhhhhh.

Mon couldn't bear to write on the same paper (which was promptly held for future generations) and along with the money, wrote a note from the tooth fairy that stated that the tooth fairy was sorry she was late but she didn't want to bother your sister, Abby, while she was sick.

The crisis was averted. But I have to wonder how much longer we can pull this stuff off with our kids.

Christmas Trip

2010-01-17T20:33:00.001-08:00

We enjoyed a quick trip to Medford, OR to see family and friends. Grandma and Grandpa Wallace always make Christmas exciting for both kids and adults. It was a great time had by all.

Several people asked that I not play any practical jokes about Santa bringing coal to Caleb. (click here for last year's pratical joke gone bad) Caleb had a curious Christmas in that prior to Christmas, he was questioning the whole Santa story, but has soon as he saw the Lego Police Station that he had requested, he was a believer again. I'm wondering how many Christmases we'll have with the real Santa? Since I'm sure that once Caleb catches on, Abby will know soon after.

After Medford, we came home to spend time with the Foster family. We enjoyed our annual trip to the Coeur d'Alene Resort for gallon-sized ice cream deserts and then celebrated a fake New Year's Eve on Dec 30th. It's always great to spend time with our family for the holidays.

Cousins enjoying their new Pj's from G&G Wallace

Grandpa Wallace reading 'Twas the Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve

What's Christmas without something from Hannah Montana?

Trains always play a big role during Grandpa Wallace's Christmas

Christmas Letter '09

2009-12-22T01:32:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all!

Al Gore has asked me to send out our Christmas letter electronically this year...either that or I don't think our friends and family are worth the price of a stamp....you decide. We've enjoyed receiving all kinds of letters from you, everyone seems to be doing very well. And you could add us to the list of those who are richly blessed. We live a fantastic life. Here's a quick update on our stellar family, try not to be too jealous of us. (Also remember that I tend to exaggerate).

Abby, 5, is the princess of our home. She sings, dances, and then demands that we do what she says. If she weren't so darn cute, we'd say 'no'. But Daddy's little girl gets what she wants. She's becoming a fan of pop music and has even memorized lyrics from such talented artists as Hannah Montana and Taylor Swift. Unfortunately Abby's voice hasn't quite matched her skill of memorization. The howling dogs and coyotes can attest to my opinion. She also started taking piano lessons this year from her Grandma Foster. And despite my protests, Abby has joined a cheer leading squad that correlates with Caleb's basketball league. I'm sure I deserve having a daughter as a cheerleader, I was just hoping the God would punish me in other ways, like being burned at the stake or living during a famine. But Abby is very happy and growing into a wonderful young lady.

Caleb, 7, is our nearly perfect son. Years ago, when we were trying to have kids and I was dreaming of what my son would be like, Caleb was exactly what I was dreaming about. He continues to love sports, playing soccer, baseball and basketball. We play together all the time at home until it gets dark or I fall over, which ever comes first. We've also been catching a lot of the minor league, college, and high school sports that are played in Spokane. Caleb's in 1st grade and loves school and all that it entails. He loves riding the bus, school work, lunch time, reading, teasing girls, and of course recess. His new found love this year is reading, he's probably read more books already than I had through all high school. He lays in bed each night reading before falling asleep. I've even checked on him an hour after he's gone to bed and he was still reading. Mon and I couldn't be more proud of both our kids.

Monica keeps our house afloat. Our kids' success in school and other activities, is because of her efforts. Plus without her, Caleb and Abby would be getting really tired of frozen pizza and canned raviolis. Aside from all she does for us at home, Mon's business continues to stay strong. I joke that she's making us rich $.75 at a time, but for a business that was started from scratch, she has built an amazing company with her website, message board, and subscription services. http://www.transparenttouches.com/ is her passion and being able to do it from home makes it a perfect fit. In her business travels this last year, Mon has bumped into several C-list celebrities this year including Alfonso Riberio (from the TV show 'Fresh Prince of Bel air"), Joey Fatone (from the pop music group 'NSYNC), and Paris Hilton (why is she famous again?). Kinda strange we know, but growing up in Medford and Spokane, this was very exciting for us.

What about me? Thanks for asking....I'm still a nurse... blah..blah... Dad...blah...blah.. Husband...blah..like sports... blah..blah... third nipple...read a lot..blah..blah..and I love to work around our house. That basically sums me up.

Though I've been slacking as of late, we try to keep our friends/family updated with our family blog. Everyone is welcome to visit http://www.jailfreewallacefamily.blogspot.com/ and stay posted on our adventures. We hope this message finds all of you full of happy thoughts and laughter.

Merry Christmas from the Wallaces

2009-12-13T23:00:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Sports time

2009-11-15T20:16:00.000-08:00

I've been catching a lot of slack for not updating the family blog. But I'm getting back on the horse...or is it the bandwagon?...whatever it is that I'm suppose to get on..I'm on it!!! That didn't sound right either.
Sports!! I love sports, and both Caleb, 7 and Abby, 5 are getting there fill of sports these days. We've tried to take advantage of living in the 'big city' by following the local teams. There are teams that most of you outside Spokane have never heard of, but to Caleb, the best player on Spokane Chiefs Hockey team might as well be Wayne Gretzky.
The downside? Every team has some sort of cheerleader or dance team, and it's those dancing chicks in short skirts that seem to make the biggest impact on Abby. Shortly after high school (when I did love watching the cheerleaders), my brother and I both agreed that cheerleading should have no part of sporting events, they're just a nuisance really. And I also feel that it's a little degrading to women to have them wear their skimpy outfits and jump up and down in front of the crowds....oh, I sound so mean, I know. And because of my cruel thoughts, how has karma paid me back? It made my daughter fall in love with the idea of being a cheerleader...now that's mean! What's happened to my brother, you ask? He's only parented boys thus far, but how sweet would it be if one of those boys was a cheerleader? Sorry bro.
This winter, we even decided to let Monica join us for a sporting event and invited her to come to a hockey game with us. She was a good-luck-charm for the team though, not only did they score six goals (free Chalupas for everyone!!), but one player scored three goals for the first hat-trick on the team in years!
Basketball season is now upon us and Caleb and we have some sweet systems when watching local high school teams. Remember that my love for sports is quickly followed by my love to not spend money. We either try and get in the gym during the J.V. game, avoiding having to pay, or use other methods of free admission (which may or may not include Caleb walking past the ticket window as a little innocent boy and running to the other side of the gym and opening the door for pops!)

Abby "cheering" at a Lady Gonzaga game. My idea of showing her that girls can play the sports too backfired after she was given these pom poms.

I think Wayne Gretzky is down there playing?

Great looking fam!..celebrating free Chalupas from Taco Bell

At a minor league baseball game last summer

Safety Second

2009-11-02T21:55:00.000-08:00

As an ICU nurse, I catch a little slack from docs and nurses about letting my kids ride there 4-wheeler and motorcycle, but I don't think I'd have it any other way. I won't bore anyone with my opinion of our "safety first" society and how it's smothering our own kids' confidence as well as there sense of adventure, but please note, I'm not in agreement. I'm more of a "laugh-first, safety-second Dad.

The new ride this summer is the Honda CRX 50. I bought it off Craigslist last Christmas for a smokin' deal, but it took me about 8 months to get it running (remember that I am a nurse). Caleb has taken to the motorcycle with a lot of excitement, and it's been a fairly easy transition from his 4-wheeler. It only took a couple times of falling over to remember when he stops, the needs to put his feet on the ground.

Abby has been wanting to ride the 4 wheeler for a couple years now, but this summer was the first time that we let her drive around without me running behind her. She does a great job and is loving every second. Her biggest challenge is when the camera comes out, she's more interested in posing for the photo rather then watching where she's going (see video).

Some videos from Wallace Park

Kneebording summer

2009-10-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

Our typical day at the lake started by doing some yard maintenance then heading out on the boat. As good parents, we let the kids play first, but that meant we had to bring out the dreaded tubes. I realize that for most people, tubes are a blast. They're easy to ride, can be a ton of fun, and require no teaching/learning. But for those of us who frequent the lake a lot, tubes can also be a total drag (get it?) They hog up time and gas, all the kids want to ride them going slightly faster than a walking pace, and frankly it's boring to watch.

The last month of the summer I heard a friend of mine explain that had the same feelings about tubes and had made the rule on his boat that his kids had to do anything else, whether is being wake boarding, knee boarding or even just dragged behind the boat with only a rope, all before the tube riding began. It was great idea and I gave it life on our boat and it worked like a charm.

Not only did the kids love to knee board, but the last few times this summer, we didn't even bring the tubes with us...blissful times. Here's the proof

And video evidence

So. Cal Day 7: Disneyland

2009-10-05T08:01:00.000-07:00

We spent the last day of our trip mostly at Disneyland. It was on a Tuesday during the off season and again we were blessed with relative short lines. We were at the gates before they opened and we stayed until the park closed (which is earlier than during the summer). We even made a quick trip back over to California Adventure to catch the Pixar Parade and some of our favorite rides. We were able to get on every ride in the park that the kids wanted, and even some that they didn't want. Here are some quick highlights.

*Abby got to spend more time with her Princess friends. I'm pretty sure she thinks that most of them are real. It's hard to tell. But one thing is for sure, she loves looking at the likes of Snow White and Tinker-bell.

*Caleb's favorite ride of the day was Thunder Mountain. It's a wild roller-coaster with a train theme. There was no line at all, we rode it 5-6 times in a row while the girls were admiring the princesses. During one of the rides on Thunder Mountain, Caleb kept dropping his head over like he was retching. I was trying to ask him if he was OK, but with the bumpy ride we weren't able to communicate very well. Finally after a few minutes of me worried that he was sick, the train came to a slow incline and I asked him if he was 'OK'. He looked at me with a big grin and said that he was fine but that he saw a quarter on the floor by his foot and he was trying to reach it during the ride despite his little body being thrown around. And yes, he did finally get the quarter, which I'm pretty sure got him more excited than anything else that day. He just kept talking about how lucky he was to find $.25. Someday I'll tell him how much it cost us to get into Disneyland, until then he continues to think he won the lottery.

*California Adventure closed that day at 6 PM and we kinda lost track of time. Around 5 PM we decided to jog across the border from Disneyland and see the Pixar parade over in California Adventure. Once there, Caleb kept talking about going on the Screaming California Roller coaster again. As soon as the parade was over we went to a ride that both Monica and I liked, expecting it to be our last ride before closing. But as we were on that ride (California Soaring), Caleb asked if we could run to the California Screaming Roller Coaster (CSRC) afterwords. I fully expected that we wouldn't make it before it closed, but decided to give it a shot. So we ran through the park, dodging young kids and strollers for a good 1/2 mile. Just as we got to the CSRC, the young girl pulled the chain across the entrance. I couldn't believe it, we were literally 3 seconds late. So as she turned her head I stepped over the chain and Caleb and I ran up to the line. I was sure that she saw us, but she ended up standing behind us for the entire line (making sure no one else got on) and didn't mention anything. I felt bad that Caleb had to see his Dad defy authority and jump the chain, but drastic times called for drastic measures. We were officially the last two riders on the CSRC that day, but it got better as the line shortened. When we made our way to the front of the line, the coaster was full.....we were not only the last to ride, we had the next coaster all to ourselves. Of coarse we chose the front row again.

*While we were the only riders on the Screaming California Roller Coaster, I still heard a lot of screaming??? That's right, leave it to Walt Disney to pipe in the sound of people screaming.

*Several of Caleb's friends had told him that their favorite thing to do at Disneyland was the Jedi Training. But Caleb's not a big Star Wars fan and when we stumbled upon the training, he wasn't interested. But just as much as Caleb despises being in front of crowds, Abby longs for any chance to be on stage (see Hannah Montana). So Abby became the first Jedi of our famliy. I'm now fairly certain if the Dark Side wanted us, Darth Vader would be moving in tomorrow. See Video for proof.

*As with any trips that involve Monica, pictures are taken..in abundance. Though she is much better than she use to be, her passion for taking pictures is starting to bother Caleb. Let's see if you can find the pictures that Caleb didn't want to be in.

Bye bye Disneyland!

So. Cal Days 4-6: Beach Time

2009-09-30T20:15:00.000-07:00

The next 3 days we spent at the local beaches and in the pool. It was perfect weather, even warmer than usual for San Diego and we soaked it all in. From our condo, it's just a short walk to the beach. Plus we spent one day down on Mission Beach in San Diego.

I bought a cheap Boogie Board with plans to use it for the three days, but Caleb shut down that idea after I showed him how to surf the waves. He was hooked. He surfed the shallow breakers for hours without as much as a short visit to the rest of us. We learned to set up our towels near a life guard station after the first day since Caleb would be gone for so long and by the time he was ready to come in, he'd be 1/2 mile down the beach. So we made sure he knew we were next to station #12, and he found us every time.

Abby gave boogie boarding a try, but it didn't interest her much. She spent a lot of time jumping in the waves, taking naps on the beach and collecting sea shells. She was very cute while hunting for shells. Every time she found one, she'd pick it up and hold it to her ear in an attempt to "hear the ocean". Even the shells that were the size of a dime, she said that she could hear the ocean....."psst..Abby, you could hear the ocean because it's 15 feet away from you"....Ahh kids..

Monica took in the days by being a hotty, catching some rays, and taking pictures. I think she was also spending a lot of time thinking about eating at the Crab Shack Restaurant since we seemed to end up their for dinner.

With my boogie board hijacked, I rented a surf board and tried surfing for an afternoon. I knew surfing for a beginner would be difficult, but I figured my wake-surfing experience would help some...I was wrong. The boards they rent are the long boards, and made of foam. So I started out among 20 teenagers looking like the surfing equivalent to a grown man, waiting for the short bus, with a helmet on. I just tried to stay out of their way. After several attempts, I started to get the hang of it. I was able to stand and head straight to shore, but their wasn't much carving going on.

The days at the beach and by the pool were perfect for us. And except for Mon's buckets of king crab, the price was good for us too...free! It was all very relaxing and enjoyable. I can see why leaving near a warm coast is so enticing...you know what would be even better? Living on a sailboat in the tropics...yeah baby...2017...that'll be us.

*Reminder that you must visit the website to view the vidoes, they're not available via email*

So. Cal. Day 3: Disney's California Adventure

2009-09-20T20:38:00.000-07:00

We spent Friday at Disney's California Adventure, a park that we didn't go see last time we were here. It's not nearly as famous as the original Disneyland, it's only 10 years old, but it's gaining a reputation as having better rides. We all had a great time. Caleb was tall enough to ride every ride except one and Abby saw dozens of characters (I think she still believes they're real).
We were again thrilled to see the lack of people. The majority of the day was spent with no lines, not until the evening did we even have a wait of more than 15 min.

Highlights:
*It took some coaxing (I had to pay him the first time), but Caleb went on the California Screamin Roller Coaster with me. It's one of the fastest and longest coasters in the world. It's a great ride that combines the feel of the old fashioned coasters with new smooth technology. For example, instead of climbing a big hill and dropping, it slingshots to 75 mph from a standstill and flies over the first big hill...awesome.
*The last ride of the day before it closed, Caleb and I got placed in the front row of the California Screamin...some people wait hours for this privilege, but we were just lucky.
*Due to the lack of crowds, we were able to get our pictures taken with a lot of characters. Usually there is a long wait to stand next them, but we found them walking around the park all day.
*Abby was able to watch a street show featuring High School Musical....sigh...Is it a highlight realizing my daughter likes girly stuff?
*Caleb's description of how he felt while on the giant Mickey's Ferris Wheel...you have to watch and LISTEN to the video down below. Beware, it's rated PG-13.

It's amazing the detail that Disney puts into their theme parks. Every square inch seems to be created to match the corresponding theme. We've now gone to several amusement parks, but Disney really goes all out in their decorations and creativity. Though, I'm not sure the kids appreciate it yet, I do.

We left California Adventure at closing at 8 PM and walked across the street to Disneyland, apparently we shared this idea with about 100,000 other people since it was shoulder-to-shoulder crowds for the 1-mile walk to the Disneyland Castle.

We have never really gotten into watching some the of the theatrical shows before. But we made time for some 4-D shows, the night-time spectacular (firework show with a flying tinkerbell and dumbo), and Fantasmic (light laser and water show featureing Micky Vs. evil witches), and they were all worth the crowds and long waits.

You can view all our pictures on our web album from Picasa here.

So Cal: Day 2

2009-09-17T21:20:00.000-07:00

Our vacation has been booked for almost a year, yet we haven't really planned anything. We have had a great summer and the Southern California vacation never really came up. Then school started and we realized that with a late start, it meant only a few school days and then we'd be pulling the kids out of school for a week?? oh well. So here we are, in sunny So. Cal. We have a paid-for Condo for 8 days and money to burn! (the money part was for effect).

Our first day was spent driving from the airport south on Hwy 1 from LA to Oceanside in the rental car (note: I LOVE driving rental cars for obvious reasons), frolicking in the ocean surf, and then ending our day in the condo's pool.

Day two we headed to the safari part of the San Diego Zoo. I had the idea a week ago or so to look on the Internet for cheaper tickets to the amusement parks and zoo but I didn't find much. But this morning I had the idea of checking the local Craigslist for tickets to the zoo. I drug my feet some in the morning since I had little confidence in the plan even though we planned on leaving the condo at 9:00. To sum the plan up: I checked Craigslist at 8:30 AM, sent two text messages at 8:45 and picked up 4 tickets for the zoo at 9:15 saving us about $90. I love technology.

We knew we were here in the off-season, but we didn't think we'd be lonely in the zoo. It felt like there was only 100 other people in the place. We enjoyed a great day seeing all kinds of animals. We also were lucky enough to continue our streak of seeing animals peeing and pooing, a great thrill for Caleb and Abby.

Highlights of the Zoo:

*seeing the Gorillas being fed, one of them refuses to eat bamboo that has touched the ground, apparently he's kind of finicky. You're a gorilla! You'll eat what we feed you! Is everything in this country spoiled?
*feeding the lorikeets (small birds), for a couple bucks we bought some nectar and usually a few birds would fly over and eat out of your hands, but apparently my sweetness was very attractive to a bird size brain.
*during a bird show in which trainers had birds show off some talents, one of the trained birds was none other than a northwest wild turkey. I can actually train one of those things? As soon as I get home, I'm going to train dozens of turkeys from crapping on my lawn.

Also similar to the last time we were in So. Cal, we're enjoying temperatures way above normal. We topped off the day with a crab-fest meal at a seafood restaurant, Monica even donned a bib for the meal (sorry no pictures were allowed).

Here's some pictures and videos:

**remember you need to visit the website to view the videos**

Merry Christmas! Shitter was Full!

2009-09-11T15:30:00.000-07:00

**Please visit website link http://www.jailfreewallacefamily.blogspot.com/ to understand title**

****you can't view videos on email****

Ahh the pleasures of living on acreage: Our closest neighbor is 400-500 ft away, I can stand on my porch in my underwear, I have my own water source and I also have huge tanks to collect the waste products produced by me and my family. Who doesn't grow up dreaming about their own 1000 gallon tank to fill with poop? You could say that the septic tank is like a sports referee, the less it's noticed the better, but when it's a problem...it really stinks (get it?).

Last week, our septic alarm went off. I pressed the alarm reset button and the noise went away. Problem solved, right? Wrong...bummer (get it?). A few days later, I was tooling around watering the lawn and killing gophers when a stench overtook me. Now, I'm used to some bad smells being a man, a father and a nurse, but this smell was different and I knew something was wrong. Upon searching for the source I noted that sewage was overflowing our septic tanks. Crap! (get it?)

I was really confused at first with the smell. Since I know for a fact that my own personal feces has a fragrance similar to that of roses and fresh baked bread. But I guess when it's mixed with Monica's, Caleb's and Abby's waste, even my own sweet odor is taken over by a very foul smell.

We have a three tank system, with the third and last tank that pumps the effluent (left over liquid) into a sand mound that filters our waste until the water eventually makes it's way down to our well for drinking...yummy.

After a few phone calls, a lot of research, and a little haggling, I had all of our septic tanks pumped out and a brand new septic pump installed. Of course my wallet is much lighter now, and I'm trying to convince the kids that Disneyland isn't as important as a working sewage system...but they're not buying it. I'd like to see Goofy turn my pooh into drinking water.

Killer

2009-09-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

About a week ago, we were coming home from the lake past dark and as we pulled into our driveway (about 1/4 mile gravel road) we saw a small critter run away from our head lights. I followed it for about 10 yards with the car asking out load "what the heck is that". It was the size of a raccoon, but it sat low to the ground like a marmot. But it was dark grey and had long fur, unlike the brown short fur of a marmot. I was quick to realize my mistake in asking out loud what it was, because poor Abby, 5, wasn't about to go to sleep easily as she kept asking us what kind of monster we saw when we were in the car. I did some research on the Internet that night pulling up pictures of all the possible animals I could think of including skunks, badgers, marmots, and raccoons. I still had no idea what is was, but to put the minds of my family to rest, I lied to them all (including Monica) and told them it was defiantly a marmot. We've had a history with marmots and everybody is comfortable with the cute little creatures.
Then over the next few days, every time we came home after dark, the stupid thing would always be right near the same spot. We'd turn into our driveway and there it would be, quickly running out of our head lights. We must of saw it 5-6 times in a 10-day span. Truthfully, I was getting a little uncomfortable not knowing what is was and I was getting concerned that it was getting too close to our yard, especially since I hadn't ruled out that it could be an aggressive beast like a badger. Last night, as I left late at night to work-out (you think I got this body by watching America's Got Talent every night) it was again in the driveway. I took the Accord for a 4-wheeling session trying to keep my head lights on it for a better view, but it scampered away into the brush.
As I came home from my work-out, I had this quick idea to pull into my driveway really fast so I could get a better idea of what is was. So I took the 90 degree turn doing about 35 mph and there it sat. Suddenly, like a cold-blooded dude that I try to portray, I thought too myself, "you're going down sucka!!". The tires jumped like I had just ran over a log going too fast and my heart sank. I backed up to assess my actions and I felt like the biggest turd on earth. Even though, I still didn't know what it was, it surely didn't deserve to be murdered by a Honda Accord. As it lay there squirming around, I felt I had no other choice but to put it out of it's misery, so I ran over it again. I left the crime scene feeling both sad and amped-up. There was one thing for sure though, there was no way I was going to get out of the car and try and figure out what is was alone in the dark....let's not forget that I may be a killer, but I'm still afraid of the dark.

The next morning I walked down to the dead animal to once and for all, figure out what it was....but even being 2 feet away in broad day-light, I still had no idea. It had black and grey long fur. It had a wide stocky body with a smaller pointy head. I called a fried who's a veterinarian who agreed to come by before work. I must admit that I felt a little better when my vet friend pulled up and the first thing he asked was, "what the heck is that?". He took a close look and then brushed his shoes along the critter's back. But as he pulled back his tennis shoe it was full of quills......it was a young porcupine! Mystery solved.

Caleb and Abby helped me give the little guy a proper burial with my tractor. I still feel odd about the whole ordeal, I don't kill many things (mostly just my wife's dreams of a normal life), but I do feel better knowing what type of animal it was. Maybe next time, they'll identify themselves better. Now if only the word could get out to all the moles that Killer Clint is on the prowl.

Rock On

2009-06-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

I'd like to share with you a little of my family history. I'm a Wallace. My father is Joel Wallace, he loves rocks..and I love rocks. End of history lesson.

I remember my Dad coming home from vacations with rocks stuffed in the car trunk. I always thought he was a little strange until my eyes were opened to the joy rocks can bring to one's life.

I'm not sure what it is about rocks that I find so attractive. Maybe it has something to do with my own rock-chiseled body, or maybe it's all the smooth curves, but I do love rocks. I spent most my childhood watching rocks be used for decoration and wall building and now going on my third house, I've built my third rock wall. But just like my rock hard body (i.e gut or waist line), the walls keep getting bigger.

I was doing some work with my tractor at a friend's house, and she asked if I could help flatten out some property and get rid of some big rocks. Get rid of big rocks??? Blasphemy!! I brought home as many rocks as my trailer could handle and the first rock wall was started. I've since started and completed more rock walls on our property, but have run dry of rocks. Hence my search for big rocks will continue.

Happy Fathers' Day Dad. Rock on!

He Speaks!

2009-06-15T19:27:00.000-07:00

Caleb, 6, was picked for a speaking part as his Kindergarten program this week. It was a short line that we practiced for a couple weeks. "My friends are together through sunshine and shade" was said hundreds of times in our home. For some reason, the phrase doesn't really roll off the tongue. And both Caleb and myself would frequently say, "My friends are together through shunshine and sade". We must of sounded like George Sr. and George W. Bush practicing presidential speeches. After much coaching to say his line slowly and clearly, this was the result....

Nailed it!

****Reminder that you can't view videos from email, you must visit the blog website*****

Scarry Nights

2009-06-14T19:55:00.000-07:00

The princess of the house turned 5 this week. She had a great week filled with cards, gifts, privileges and a party with a giant rat named Chuck E. Cheese. Abby has been an easy child to raise thus far...except at night. For several years now, Abby has what most would call 'night terrors'. And it isn't that rare to find Abby walking around the house at 2 AM sleep walking. But mostly she just screams in her sleep. She screams in the middle of the night 2-3 times a week and then almost always screams and moans as she wakes up in the morning. It's all very odd. My good friend Google taught me that roughly 15% of kids ages 2-7 have night terrors and that it mostly is caused by lack of sleep. Which doesn't make too much sense because Abby usually takes a nap plus sleeps for nearly 11-12 hours each night, but I guess it could be the cause. Monica and I have adapted to the screaming fairly well. She usually stops after a minute or so, but if it's longer, one of us gets up to check on her. Caleb doesn't have our patience and sometimes will yell at her to "be quiet" from his own bed. There was a period of time that Abby liked to sleep in Caleb's room on an air mattress. But we found out that when Abby screamed, Caleb would toss toys, stuffed animals and books at her from his bunk bed like it was some sort of target practice. The good news is that the screeching has become less frequent and most the experts state that kids will grow out of it.

You've been Warned

2009-06-14T11:58:00.000-07:00

I've pleaded. I've begged. I've asked nicely that you leave my lawn alone, but you didn't listen. You left me with no decision but to start killing your family. I'm blowing up your homes, I'm poisoning your young, and then I'm trapping those of you who survive for a nice Sunday meal.

I'm really a nice guy, but when you put bumps in my nice flat lawn, you've crossed the line. Adios rat face!

New Bathroom

2009-06-09T17:20:00.000-07:00

I know many have been waiting on the edge of their seats for me to complete the kids' bathroom. Well, your three month wait is now over.
I'm really pleased with how it turned out. I went and got all creative with the tile and it looks great. I guess my 1st grade teacher, Mrs Gardner, was right. I am creative!
Of course, the big test is when we turn on the water and there isn't a small water fall into the rooms below.
Here are some before and after photos.

Bad Cop, No Doughnut

2009-05-03T08:34:00.000-07:00

When I was younger, I had a small problem with authority. Of my many questionable ideas, I didn't think the speed limit pertained to me. While in college in Idaho, where speeding tickets were only $5o, I was pulled over an amazing amount of times. By the time I was 23, I believe I had collected about 17 moving violations!! And that doesn't even account for the times I was caught speeding and given a warning.

The combination of being an idiot, having a job with money to spend, being on my parents' insurance, and having a fast car almost cost me my right to drive.

I remember being away at college, probably having accumulated 3-5 speeding tickets in the previous few months when my Dad called. He told me that their insurance company had just notified them that their rates would be going up since I had gotten a ticket. Yes, 'a' ticket....singular. I recall thinking, "wait 'till the insurance company finds about the other four tickets." Sorry about that Mom and Dad.

The good news is, since my marriage (and the chance to pay for my own insurance), I haven't gotten any tickets! That's almost 13 years of being a slow-poke. Now days, I get passed all the time, especially by those college-age punks!

Unfortunately, my lovely wife has taken a different approach since our marriage. She likes to amass a ticket every 1-2 years, just enough for me to raise my blood pressure. Most have been of the speeding variety, but my favorite was being caught by a traffic camera rolling through a red-light, on a cell phone, with the kids in the back seat, eating a pizza, smoking a cigarette (maybe a slight exaggeration). Say 'cheese'. The funny thing is that every time she gets pulled over, she does what every woman should do...cry like you've never cried before. But for Mon, it's been to no avail, she undoubtedly still gets the ticket....until this week. She was pulled over and after some theatrics that only a professional actress would be proud of, she DIDN'T get a ticket. Good job Monica.

Big Girly Bunny

2009-04-22T21:23:00.000-07:00

Every year at this time, I find myself lying to my children again about the whole Easter Bunny story. Who came up with this character?...and what was he smoking? At least the Santa Claus story was thought out and makes sense...in a fairy-tale-way. But a bunny that breaks into every one's home and hides their eggs? At ages where questions need to be answered, my kids have lots of questions about the huge bunny and I have no answers.
Would I be a bad Dad by telling them it's all a hoax? Would telling the truth about the bunny carry-over to ruining Christmas? Would this increase the chances of my kids ending up in jail?
Another interesting foot note about the bunny in our family is that Caleb, 6, refers to the Easter Bunny in the feminine. "How does she get into the house?" Or "How does she get to every house in the world in one night?" When we asked him why he thought the Easter Bunny was a girl today, he held up a decorative bunny, wearing pastel-colored clothes, with pink and yellow flowers, and said in a matter-of-fact tone, "would a boy wear these clothes?" Well said my son, well said.

Back From Suspension

2009-04-19T04:56:00.000-07:00

And we're back. My suspension is over. I'd like to apologize to all my fans who missed me....and tell them to get a life.

Caleb's basketball season came to an end. We all had a great time watching him this year. I'm a little biased, but the kid is a natural. He dominated those 5-6 year olds.

Here's a quick look at the last few weeks. (As always, you must actually visit the blog site Keeping Toddlers out of Jail, to view the videos) We have become a skiing family. I've started to take Abby and she became quite good in a short time. I'm pretty sure of her motivation when she frequently asked questions like "where does Caleb ski? I want to go there" or "does Caleb go as fast as me?". With the huge amounts of snow, we spent "spring" break skiing as a family. It was the first time we've all been together on the slopes and it was loads of fun. We had one day of fresh snow and another day of sunshine, a perfect way to end the season.

Our one mishap happened the first time up a different chair-lift for Abby. Getting off the chair was a little more steep than she was use to and when Abby saw the drop off she clung to the chair. So as I got off, Abby stayed on the chair screeching as she took a ride above me. The lift operator stopped the chair lift and I was able to get able to jump into my out-stretched arms.

One funny thing that I've seen both Caleb and Abby do is sing while they ski. During particularly long runs, I've overheard both kids, when alone, singing. It's both very cute and quite odd at the same time.

Caleb and I scored a few tickets to watch the Harlem Globetrotters. They put on a great show for the kids. The Washington Generals put up a great fight, but came up a little short again. Maybe next game Generals.

Monica did a show in Portland, which meant it was single-parent time for yours truly. It was week full of Ramon and Chef Boardee products. Good times.

My frugalness (most call it being cheap) has continued to become a part our lives. We have stocked up on food and supplies for dirt cheap prices. I've found several websites that list deals at pharmacies and grocery stores and then taken advantage of what's available in our area. It has taken some time, and I still have a lot to learn, but I'm totally hooked on free toothpaste, free burgers and all the other sweet deals. The picture of the cans of soup was a sweet deal I found at Albertsons. After the coupons and instant rebates, I made $10!

We've made a long term goal of sailing for a year starting in the summer of 2017. Rough estimates have been discussed on how much money we'll need, hence the need to save more. I've always wanted to travel with my kids to other parts of the world for a variety of reasons and sailing seems like a natural way to accomplish that goal for an extended period of time. And yes, Monica has agreed to come.

The purchase of a sailboat has morphed into the perfect excuse to not spend money. Every time we tell the kids 'no', they respond by asking if we're still saving money to buy a big sail boat. The excuse may have reached it's limit yesterday when Caleb came and told me he's figured out a way to get lots of money to buy our sailboat, "you just have to put all your jewelry into an envelope and send it in!"

With the snow melting, home projects have started around our place. Among them are a total remodel of the kids' bathroom, new counter tops and back splash in the kitchen, painting the walls in several rooms, creating a space for Monica to teach Piano in the den, finishing touches on the shop, and a continued quest for a soccer/base ball field at Wallace park.

I've even had to expand my remodel skills into the world of plumbing. Hopefully we won't have a waterfall into the living room every time the kids take a shower.

In case an moles are reading this blog, (not people who lie to others, actual moles) this is your final warning. Stay away from our property or prepare to take a long dirt nap.

John Stockton Jr.

2009-02-16T05:23:00.000-08:00

My son Caleb, 6, is playing in a basketball league this winter. It's a league sponsored by a local Christian church. It's been a fun time for the whole family. The league is very well organized with an exciting introduction before each game, full uniforms and even cheerleaders. For those girls who aren't interested in playing basketball, they have cheer leading starting as young as age 5.

The league has set up a tunnel that all the players run through during team introductions. They put out smoke, play some cool music and then all the parents line up for the kids to run by. It's quite a scene and the kids soak it up. I'm sure it does wonders for all the kids' confidence for them to feel like the entire gym is cheering for them.

Basketball has a special place in my heart and I'm excited to share my love for the game with him. We've gone to several high school games (if we go during the J.V. games, we don't have to pay to watch the varsity game afterword) and we also watch games together on television.

He's had a great time playing in this league and has really been a blast to watch. Even though Basketball at his level is very difficult to watch. It's a sport that requires a lot of coordination and an understanding of all the rules. Soccer and tee ball are much more simple to teach and play at his age. That said (and of course I'm very biased), Caleb has really excelled on his team. He's learning more fundamentals each week and more importantly, he's being aggressive. Most kids at his age are quite shy when playing sports. But Caleb has a drive in him that causes him to stay aggressive during sports, it's something that I don't think can be taught, especially at 6 years old.
Last week's game, for example, of the 25 shots his team took, Caleb probably took 20 of them. This week, his coach taught him to pass to his teammates more, so several times Caleb would dribble quickly to the basket, but instead of shooting, he passed the ball perfectly to his teammates. It was a blast to watch. That said, we kept track of the teams shots this week and Caleb still took 11 of the team's 20 shots.

I know I'm a total homer and I suppose I should be, since I'm his Dad. But I couldn't be more proud of how much he enjoys playing sports.

I grew up idolizing the great John Stockton of the Utah Jazz. Watch these videos and tell me there isn't a resemblance.

(The vidoes can't be viewed via email, you have to go directly to the website at jailfreewallacefamily.blogspot.com)

Winter Sports

2009-02-12T00:47:00.000-08:00

With the freezing temperatures lately, it's been hard on me and the kids having to stay indoors all day. We still have a couple feet on the ground, but it may as well be granite rock all over after weeks of freezing temperatures and no new snow.

We have found a few activities to keep the kids from iCarly and Spongebob. We went roller skating with Caleb's school night. It was both Caleb and Abby's first time on roller skates and it was a lot of fun to watch...Yes, I said watch. There's no way I'm strapping on a pair of those coccyx crunchers again. Monica did skate around with the kids until they both told her to let them skate by themselves. They held different activities for the kids that night including a race. And when they invited the kids who wanted to participate, Caleb was the first out there. Monica and I thought about telling him that he shouldn't participate since this was his first time and that he was a really really slow skater...but what fun would that be? Thankfully, they divided the kids up age and Caleb's group only had three kids. The race consisted of one kid who knew how to skate, who made it around the cones in about 20 seconds, while Caleb and the other kid took a painfully long 5 minutes to skate/scoot/walk around the cones. It was quite a scene as the other kids cheered on Caleb and his buddy to the finish line.

Abby has been ice skating about 10 times since last year. She's becoming quite good according to Monica. She refuses to be with her Mom there also. She started out using a bar that's held like an old person's walker, but has since gone bar-free. If she can stay bar-free, it'll help with my goal in rasing kids who stay out of jail...get it? Bar-free! I crack myself up.

Both kids continue thier sports endeavors of basketball and gymnastics. We love watching them gain confidence in themselves. Both are involved in programs that promote trying new things and being a team player, which is important at their young ages. They can learn to be selfish later.

Caleb and I also finally made it up the mountain to go skiing last week for the first time this year. He started right where he left off last year and even skied the last half of the day without the edgy-wedgie. The edgy-wedgie is, other than my all-time favorite name of a product, a little rubber tubing that holds kids' ski tips together. Try saying 'edgy-wedgy' five times without smiling.

Hopefully we'll get either more snow or some warmer weather soon, (40 degrees! That's not too much to ask for is it?) so we can start playing outside again.

Change is in the Air

2009-02-08T10:11:00.000-08:00

This is not a political post, but I believe everybody has felt the change in the air the last few months. New president, poor economy, planes crash-landing WITH survivors, and now I have left my 8 year relationship with my TREO and bought an iphone. I know, I know..shocking.

Let me explain: We've all seen the media bomb-bard us with how everyone is loosing their house, loosing their job and loosing their retirement savings. Though, I think this is mostly a pile of crap since I still can't find a parking spot within a 1/2 mile of Costco or Wal-Mart and we waited in 1-2 hour lines in Las Vegas for restaurants, I do however think that good will come out of the media's slanted position. Simply stated: debt is dumb financing, and if more people get out of debt, this is good. I sincerely think that most people were in just as much debt last year as they are now, the only thing that has changed after all the hype is now they're realizing that they should stop spending beyond their means and get out of debt.

I personally don't have a problem with debt, thanks mostly to selling our home just before the housing bubble busted and paying off all our debt. That said, all this talk about the economy has prompted me to try do some things differently in order to pump-up our savings and retirement while I believe stocks/funds are on sale. And don't forget that we WILL sail the tropics on a sweet sweet sail boat someday!

In order to increase my savings, I've gone to the ultimate research tool, the internet, and I've been following 15-20 blogs on ways to save money. Most of the ideas are coupon and sale related. It takes some time to learn, but I've got time on my side. Here's a short list of somethings I've done in the last month:

*Refinance our mortgage. Incredible rates are available, though they've climbed in the the last week. I wish we could have gone to a 15 or 20 year loan, but not yet. Savings: $300+/month.
*Called Direct TV, went directly to the cancellation dept. and told them I was switching to Dish Network with their promo offer. They offered to drop their rates for one year. Savings: $23/month.
*We have 3 cars and changing the oil is a priority for me as I plan on keeping them for a long time. Every 3000 miles, the oil/filter gets changed. Taking them to a quick oil change place cost anywhere from $26-$40. It's dirty, but doesn't require much brain power to change the oil myself. It costs approx. $12-$18 for the oil and filter. With three cars changed three times per year, that's a potential savings of $80-$170/year.
*We continue to heat our house with a wood stove. I'm always looking for free wood and good deals in the summer. It takes some work to stack, split and bring the wood inside, but the payoff can be huge. We have a fairly large home and we average about $105-$120/month in electric/gas bills. Talking to other home owners in the area, they pay $250-$300/month in the winter. That's a potential savings of about $2000/year.
*I'm new to coupons, but I'm learning quickly. With the plan of matching coupons with store sales, there are some sweet deals. Ever see the ladies on the news that buy $150 of groceries for only $6.50? Thats what I want to do....except I'm a Man!! (A nurse who uses coupons...but I'm still a man!) We are fortunate to have a large pantry and plenty of space for storage. So the plan is by searching for deals on foods we eat, then stock-piling by buying a bunch at a time. I've already started and I've loaded up on spaghetti sauce ($.46/jar), chili ($.80/can), and cereal ($.99/box). I've learned that most stores and manufactures cycle their sales every 3-4 months, so the method of buying enough for 3-4 months should pay off.

Is anybody wondering what this has to to do with buying a $300 phone? Monica has agreed to let me do the grocery shopping (I know, how nice of her). But with some organization tools that are provided on the iphone including applications that allow for comparative shopping, and the ability to have the internet with me always, I'm sure I can save our family hundreds of dollars per month. It's a huge challenge, but I'm for it. I'll keep you updated.

If you look really close, you can see me, Mon and Abby on the deck. Caleb must be making sandwiches down below.

Am I in Heaven?

2009-02-07T21:57:00.000-08:00

Thursday was a beautiful day. Caleb (my six year old) and I went to watch a couple high school games. We watched the J.V. (if you go to the J.V game, it's free) and the Varsity games of the mighty Mead District rivalry game between Mt. Spokane High and Mead High. Both games were close and fun to watch. I love it that Caleb likes to go to games with me. He may be more excited that we eat nachos and popcorn for dinner than actually watching the game, but I'll take the father-son time any way I can get it.
We got home in time to watch the Gonzaga University game that had been recorded when I realized the Utah Jazz were also on TV...How could this night get any better?? Thank goodness for the DVR so I could record both games and then watch them without commercials. Just as I was heading for bed after watching four games, guess who the guest analyst after the Jazz game was...only the greatest power-forward of all time, Karl Malone. He also was a permanent fixture on my wall while growing up, in addition to playing a little basketball.
I can only imagine this is what those of us who do what God says, will get to do after we die.

A week in Paris

2009-02-02T04:57:00.000-08:00

Monica spent six days last week in Anaheim, CA for a scrapbook convention. With her gone, it was single-parent time for me. (i.e. Mac-n-Cheese, Spaghetti's, and cheese quesadillas) I can't imagine being a parent without a microwave. I know I'm pathetic, since I didn't even have to work while she was gone, but I now have a great respect for what she and many parents around the world do everyday.

With me cooking (OK maybe I'm using the verb 'cooking' loosely, but this is my blog, so wipe that smirk off your face) three meals a day and providing for our kids, Monica was hamming it up with her scrapbook friends. She even spent some time with Paris Hilton.....yes, that Paris Hilton. I'm not sure where to start with this strange situation, I just have too many questions.

1) What was Paris Hilton doing at a scrapbook convention? I just can't imagine Paris hanging out with her pals cutting out paper, photos, and decorations.
2) Why was Monica with Paris Hilton? Come on, where was Angelina Jolee or Julia Roberts? Of all the celebrities, it had to be one of the famous people in the world that is only famous for being born. She's not talented, she's not gifted, she hasn't done anything newsworthy...all she did was be born....into a rich family.

3) Why couldn't it have been me, that would have been so cool to meet Paris, she's HOT!

Mon says the trip was successful. The kids and I survived the week, though we may be a little malnourished. And we now have giant photos of Paris Hilton in our living room. What a great country!

Vegas Baby, Vegas

2009-02-02T02:12:00.000-08:00

Mon and I had a great time in Las Vegas last week. Despite a 10-hour plane delay and slight detour through Oakland, CA, we did everything we wanted and more for a short kids-free vacation.

We got to see a couple shows, we soaked in the hot tub, we stuffed ourselves and Monica even won some money.

For me, the best thing of the entire trip was that we took NO pictures! (All men reading this just stood up and applauded) It was a great feeling to only smile when I was happy or laughing and not at the end of 1...2....3....

I would tell more about our trip, but you know the whole 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas' deal. I wouldn't want to wake up tomorrow next to a horse's head because I broke code. A huge thanks goes to Mon's parents, Travis, and Sarah (bro and sis in-law) for watching our kids. We were able to recharge our batteries for another month..at least.

I Wanna Be a Rock Star

2009-01-23T11:23:00.000-08:00

When I help Abby get ready for bed, I try to remind her that she's smart, beautiful, and a princess. It's important to me that she knows a man (Me) loves her always, hopefully keeping her from looking for another man's love until she's 35.

Last night, while helping her to bed, I told her that she's my princess. She then shook her head at me, and told me that she's not a princess anymore, she's a 'rock star'. I tried to tell her that she could be both a princess and a rock star, but she wouldn't have anything to do with it. She insisted I call her a rock star from now on. I consented by calling her "my favorite, beautiful princess rock star".

What happened to my little girl? Rock Star? I'm scared.

Barf-o-rama

2009-01-11T08:14:00.000-08:00

A few days back, I went to sleep not feeling well. I have a history of a weak stomach and having barf-mares (vomiting while asleep) so I kept a large bowl close by. Sure enough, within a couple hours of sleeping I was needing "the bowl". The strange part was that I didn't feel great afterwords like I usually do. I would go on to need "the bowl" about once an hour for the next 4-5 hours. It was as sick as I've been in many years.

The next few days were full of feeling achy, but surviving. I made every effort to wash my hands frequently, wash the kids' hands frequently and NO KISSING! (That was hard for Monica to do, it's difficult for her to keep her hands off me). Three days later I was running some shopping errands with Abby and Monica called me from home saying that Caleb was asking for "the bowl" since he wasn't feeling well. I had Abby at Costco and we bought a berry smoothy, when I handed it to her, she smiled, said thank you, and then set it down without drinking any.....uh oh....I knew something was wrong.

We stopped by the in-laws on the way home and while standing in the entry way of their home, Abby had a small case of the barfs. On the way home, Monica called back to tell me about Caleb filling up "the bowl". They had gotten sick at nearly the same time despite not being near each other.

Amazing that I (with a little help from Monica) have created these clones. With my DNA and a similar virus, all our bodies reacted exactly the same! Needless to say, we spent the rest of the night until 4 AM or so running from the kids rooms' to the bathrooms to empty and clean bowls. Good times.

Picture of "the bowl" and our home version of a barf bag.

Mamma's Takin' Over.

2009-01-08T21:20:00.000-08:00

My wife, Monica, and I have a fanstastic relationship for many reasons, one of which is we have created roles that work well for us. For example, she makes the banana bread while I make the storage shops. A bunch of other examples have come to me now that I think about it: I make money, she spends it. I clean the vacuum, she dirties the vacuum. She diciplines the kids, I beat them. I haul the wood inside, she makes the fire each morning. I could go on, but it'll just mean more time on the couch.

One other role is when things break, I get to fix them. As I may have explained before, I'm no handy man, but with a few tools and Google, I'm learning to figure things out before calling in a repair man and forking over some $dough$. It's not a role that I'm really fond of and Monica knows it. So to my surprise when the washing machine went belly up, Monica took over. She pulled off panels, unplugged hoses, searched the Internet, she even figured out some diagnostic test. She was able to point to the problem, though did need some help in removing the last part, the clogged filter.
It made me proud to see my woman being so proactive and attacking a problem.

The problem was after washing a floor rug, the rug was obliterated and the fibers had clogged up the filter making the washer unable to drain water.

Way to go Mon!!

Santa Can be Mean

2009-01-01T20:54:00.000-08:00

We visited Medford and my family for Christmas this year. We had a great time seeing Grandpa, Grandma, Uncles, Aunts, cousins, and friends. The bad weather gave us a challenge on the trip down, but the monster Tahoe with it's snow tires pulled through again. While most of Oregon was closing down due to the snowy conditions, our only problem was having enough room to pass the slow moving traffic.

Christmas eve was full of the usual traditions with the kids excitement for Santa's arrival growing every minute. As good American parents we continued to threaten our kids that Santa will bring coal if they weren't good all the way up through Christmas eve. We used the ole' 'naughty or nice' trick since Thanksgiving, but I sensed our kids not buying it probably half way through December.

Christmas morning started with Caleb yelling at everyone to wake up and that he was going into the living room. After slowing him down for a second as the rest of us wiped off our eye boogers, he again tried to leave the room by opening the bedroom door. To his surprise he say two small bags of "coal" at the door's threshold. He quickly grabbed the coal-looking substance and smile big as he turned to me and exclaimed, "look Dad, Santa brought us chocolate!".

I gave Caleb a strange look and told that it looked more like coal. He looked down at his new found objects and then turned to Monica, "Is this chocolate Mom?" Monica shook her head without trying to smile and played along. "The tag says 'Santa's Coal'".

Caleb took a slow look at the coal, clinched it in his right hand and then threw it down with all his strength. He ran towards the bathroom while yelling, "I HATE SANTA!!!"

Mon and I didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or cry over ruining our son's Christmas. We quickly went into crisis-management by explaining that it was all a joke by Daddy.

On our rush to see the toys that the real Santa had brought, Mon noticed Abby, who was lost in all the commotion had big tears swelling under her eyes and asked Abby not to cry. Abby calmly responded, "I'm not crying, my eyes just itch".

The crisis was averted as soon as the kids saw all their toys, but it was a little tense for awhile. If someone was grading my parenting skills as a Dad with that practical joke, I'd probably get an 'F'. But it was sure funny. We'll ALL laugh at it in about 10 years. Right???

Christmas Card Time

2008-12-24T02:27:00.000-08:00

I recently sent out our Christmas Card. You could say that the annual Christmas card was my blog before I had a blog.

I get a kick out of reading other's Christmas cards/ annual updates. I love to see what my friends and family are up to, but it's also a secret obsession of mine to critique the grammar of each letter. I must of inherited the desire to cut up other people's writings from my English-teacher mom. One of my favorite styles to read is when their letters are written entirely in the third person. As if they have hired a writer to update us all.

I shouldn't be critical, but it makes me feel better about myself. Though I'm known for making a lot of mistakes on this here blog as well. I'm awful with the words 'there' Vs. 'their' especially.

For those of you who weren't worth the price of a stamp, here is this year's Christmas card:

Hello Sports Fans, Merry Christmas to all. We hope you are all happy and healthy. We are all doing very well in the great northwest. We find ourselves in awe of how blessed a family we are. But I'll skip the sappy stuff and get right to the much anticipated annual family recap: Abby Rae has gone from her terrible two's straight to terrible teens. She sweet talks her way out of trouble, begs for what she wants and has even slammed the door shut when upset. To my delight though, she ended her "dancing" career in the spring and now has taken up gymnastics. Now I know I ridiculed her dancing lessons as a waste of time doing what most the world would consider more like seizure-like motions rather than dancing, so I think gymnastics is a happy median of an activity that will have some benefit later on. For example, if she ever finds herself under fire by a machine gun, she can now do summer-saults to avoid the bullets. Though we don't expect her to become an Olympic gymnast, since she's already as tall as them, we are thrilled for her enthusiasm of the sport. Abby also started pre-school this year and I'm pretty sure she's considered the top of her class since she tells everyone else what to do. The rest of her time is spent playing with her princess dolls, dressing like a princess and then expecting to be treated like a princess...just like I want. Caleb started Kindergarten this year and loves to go school every day. He mainly likes riding the bus, but since the bus takes him to and from school, he has to stay there all day. Caleb's sports career took bad turn when he broke his left arm during his 2nd soccer game. A splint, surgery, 3 pins, cast, and another splint filled up the next couple months. Unfortunately, when he broke his arm, he stretched his radial nerve and has slightly paralyzed his wrist, fingers and thumb. The good news is that he starting to get movement again and he should re-gain complete function, though it may take up to 6 months. All that said, Caleb hasn't missed a beat. He's figured out how to do most everything he did before with one hand, and the stuff he can't do with one hand he's learned to not care about...like buttoning his pants...totally over-rated. It's been great to see him over-come this obstacle. Even though we have stressed about his hand, he simply keeps going like nothing ever happened. In fact he insisted on staying signed up for basketball this year and has already started attending practices. Caleb has stayed interested in Legos, riding his 4-wheeler, watching basketball with me (Go Jazz and Zags!) and is excited to go snow skiing when the snow hits this winter. The real princess of our home, Monica, continues to guide her scrapbook kingdom. Her business and website (www.transparenttouches.com) have stayed steady through the country's economic downturn. Maybe the CEO's of GM and Ford should take a lesson from her. Aside from being boss of her own company, she remains the boss of our home making it all run smoothly with her iron fist and sweet, sweet banana bread. I am still both a male and a nurse, other-wise known as a murse. Working at a large hospital brings with it certain excitement and challenges, along with lots and lots of sick people. I continue to work on my do-it-yourself skills around the house. I planted a 2-acre lawn in the spring for the kids to play baseball and soccer and I'm proud to say say that I still am using a push mower to cut the mega lawn. Other than working on Wallace Park, I have also almost completed building a large shop. It's essentially a 3-car garage to store some toys in. It's by far the biggest project I've ever taken on and I've needed a lot of help from family and friends. At printing, I still have some finishing touches, but I'm hoping to have it finished in the next couple weeks. We made our maiden voyage to Southern California and Disneyland this year and had a great time. Abby, especially, was enthralled by the princesses of Disneyland. Added to our beach time was the San Diego Zoo, Lego Land, and Sea World. Other than a few trips to Oregon, we've spent most of our time enjoying our home and Monica's parents' lake house. We can find all kinds of fun and excitement we need within 20 minutes of our door. I've also started a blog that has provided me with a great forum to write about our family adventures. Please check it out at www.jailfreewallacefamily.blogspot.com and feel free to sign up for all the updates to be emailed to you. We thank all our loving family and friends for fun times that they add to our lives. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it...oh crap!

2008-12-23T04:22:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday, Monica and I had the sweet idea of going to downtown Spokane after the kid's school for an afternoon of seeing Santa and doing some shopping. It started to snow in the morning, but wasn't a real concern since we we're driving the Tahoe with it's new (used from Craigslist) snow tires. As we made the 10 mile trip, up and down a few hills, we started seeing some funny stuff with cars slipping all over the roads like Caleb standing on a bar of soap in the bathtub. One young girl had gotten stuck trying to climb an icy hill. We hooked the tow rope up to her and quickly pulled her to the top of the hill. But in the commotion of us pulling here out of the way of moving traffic, several other cars had stopped and also gotten themselves stuck on the hill. We ended up helping another car up the hill before traffic was flowing again. Once downtown, we did the Santa thing ($25 for a picture with an old fat guy with bad breath!!?? Are you kidding me?) and let the kids shop for their grandparents. By the time we got out of the mall, the snow was starting to pile up, probably over a foot by then. It was around 3:00, with rush hour just starting to pick up. It didn't take long to see we weren't going far anytime soon.

As downtown Spokane sits, there is a very steep hill to the south (cleverly called the South Hill) and no cars were getting up those roads and to the north there are a few steep hills that were being closed by the police because the high amount of cars and semi-trucks slipping (including the same hill that we had assisted on earlier). When we realized we needed to get out of that area of town, it was too late. Downtown had become a parking lot of stranded motorists. We helped pull out a few more cars that were stuck. One girl's car wasn't stuck, but it had stopped running and wouldn't start. She was in middle of the road and when I told her that I could pull her to somewhere more safe, she told me that she couldn't even get her car out of park and into nuetral. We tried it anyway and our big bad Tohoe pulled her skidding car about 200 feet out of harms way. Chevy rocks! (except for that loosing $3 billion dollars/year problem).

With cars every direction moving at a snail's pace, Mon and I decided to takes some food to a nearby homeless shelter. Though it was a charitable thing to do, I actually think Monica just wanted me to know where the shelter was located in case I complain about her tater-tot casserole again. We headed to the nearest hamburger shop and bought 30 hamburgers and fries. We then spent about 30 min. driving two blocks to the shelter.

We were having a little bit of a hard time explaining to Caleb and Abby what we were doing. Caleb kept asking silly questions like, "Why don't they just get jobs so they can buy their food?" Ahh kids, they just don't get it, do they?

We walked to the reception desk and explained our plan of passing out the burgers and fries and within seconds we had several lines surrounding us. We encouraged the kids to pass out the food, but they were a little shy and somewhat greedy. Abby, for example, kept passing out individual fries instead of the containers of fries. The guys had a funny look when she handed them one fry. It also didn't help that Abby was eating the fries as she was handing them out. I'm not sure she learned much from the experience.

We received lots of 'Thank You's' and 'Merry Christmas's' and it turned out to be a great time. The rest of the evening was spent in traffic. It took us 2 hours to cover the 10 miles home, but we finally made it. Spokane ended up having a record 24 hr snowfall that day over 24-30 inches in certain areas.

Building a Shop: Week 8

2008-12-12T04:09:00.000-08:00

With the frozen nights, climbing on the metal roof has become a more dumb idea each day. I took a few moments of sunshine (although it was only 20 degrees) to climb up there to try and finish the roof. I had to change my pants after a couple slips before I realized my roof-climbing season was over. I was able to get all the metal roofing on except the top ridgejust not all screwed down. With snow in the forecast, my father in law, Stuart, helped me nearly complete all the metal-trimwork on Wednesday. With the 20-foot ladders fully extended, standing on ice, we came up with an idea of basically screwing 22 feet of top-ridge together, walking it up the ladder and then carefully laying it on the roof ridge, putting in 2 screws on one end and then hoping it stays there until April. With the snow starting to really come down, our plan worked like a charm. Now we just have to wait until April to see if it was a good idea. The good news was that it ended up snowing several inches and then froze. All the weight of the frozen snow is basically holding down the top ridge. It was a Christmas miracle to finish the last few pieces as the snow starting to fall. I suspect well have snow on the ground until Spring, so it couldn't have been better timing.

All that is left is installing the garage doors. Projects that I can complete inside the building, protected from the elements.

Again, a big thanks to Stuart and my other friends. There is now way I could have finished this mammoth-sized project without you.

Building a Shop: Week 7

2008-12-09T21:52:00.000-08:00

Heavy Metal dude! Ok, bad joke. Placing the metal has gone fairly well. My Father in law, Stuart (aka my BFF), has stepped away from his alleged "job" and been a huge help every day. We're not exactly sure what he does for a living, but let it be known that it's the dream job of everyone who likes to do stuff other than work. He's been a tremendous help and I'd be working on this place through March if it weren't for all he's done. Thanks Stuart.

Working with the metal has come with a learning curve. Measuring, cutting and placing 18 foot sections takes some patience and skill. The factory provided me with just enough metal to fit the building with only inches to spare. So finding the right size of metal took some time. I placed all the metal sheets on the driveway instead of having to sift through a stack each time I needed a piece. With the metal all laid out, I would find the right sized piece, cut to size and correct angle and very carefully carry it over to the building. While carrying this 16 feet tall metal by myself, I'm pretty sure if a breeze came up, I would have been flown to Canada. Lucky for me though, no wind. Just freezing cold. We got the roofing up and mostly screwed down, both the sides and the back all done. The top 2 feet on the sides are not metal, but a see-through fiberglass to allow for natural lighting. With only the front to do and just a few more sheets of metal on the driveway, Monica took a mental vacation and backed the car over the metal. She feels bad for doing it, I feel bad for letting her out of the house. Seriously, it was easy mistake. We're talking about 16 foot sections of metal on a gravel driveway that had been there for three days, it may as well been invisible, it was so hard to see.

Since ordering new metal would take 2-3 weeks, I decided to hang the bent metal. Plus it will always be a reminder to refer to when I ask Monica to bake me brownies or rub my feet.

The finish is in sight.

Christmas Tree hunting

2008-12-05T22:19:00.000-08:00

We're spending the week of Christmas in Oregon with family this year. With only two more weeks at home before we leave, Mon and I have contemplated not getting a Christmas tree this year. I know, I know....do it for the kids Clint! We compromised with the kids and got a tree, but we didn't pay for it. We went old-school and walked around our property (OK, maybe our neighbors' property, but who's really looking?)and cut one down.

When I announced to Caleb and Abby to put on thier coats so we can go find a Christmas tree, Abby made an interesting point. She said, "I'm not going if we have to swim through a river, but I'll go if we don't have to swim through a river...are we going to swim through a river?" Since there was no swimming during this year's Christmas tree hunt, we all set out to find the tree that looked the least like Charlie Brown's tree. We did find a decent one and hauled it all the way to our deck...about 15 feet away.

One last gem from Abby as we were placing the tree on the back deck for the night. Some ducks flew over and 4 year-old Abby yelled at them in her cutesy voice, "Go away ducks!!" When Monica questioned Abby about yelling at the ducks, she explained that she didn't want the ducks to poop on our Christmas tree. Well said Abby. The last thing we want to use to decorate our tree, is duck poo.

Building a Shop: Week 6

2008-11-27T21:03:00.000-08:00

Raising the roof! For most pole buildings, the roof either has metal with insulation underneath or metal on top of wood sheeting. I chose the sheeting for several reasons, the most important being durability and the chance to walk on the roof easily when it's all done. I have a feeling with Caleb's throwing arm that I'll get to walk on the roof a lot to retrieve Frisbees and sticks.

Placing the 5 X 8 feet sheeting took a little work as you can see on the video below, but we got her done. Just repeat the video 32 times to understand what it took to place all the sheets.

I borrowed a new toy from my friend, Frank-the-tool-man, a man-sized nail gun. Frank has every tool known to man. I'll never have to buy a tool again as long as he's around. Thanks Frank. The nail gun was a lifesaver (unless I accidentally shoot myself, then it will become a life-taker) that helped the sheeting go up quick.

Next up: Metal.

Toys For Sale

2008-11-26T23:18:00.000-08:00

While working on the shop, Caleb and Abby have been playing with my tools and the scrap wood. Both have made "houses" out of scraps and nails. And yesterday Caleb hammered together what looks like a small table but insisted on calling it a "stand". Monica and I know exactly what Caleb is referring to when he calls something a "stand"; a place to sell/buy stuff. I'm not sure of the origin of this word in Caleb's vocabulary, though it is consistent with other kids selling lemonade or cookies from a "stand" during the summer. Yesterday, after building his "stand", Caleb told me he had planned selling some of his toys on said stand in our driveway. Though this idea was totally ridiculous since we live out of town and the end of our 1/4 mile driveway is a 45 mph road, it was however an improvement from the last time Caleb built a "stand". Two summers ago, Caleb and Abby found a bunch of shells left over from the previous owners of our home and decided to set up a table and sell them. Not a bad idea except they set up their table in our garage...1/4 mile away from the road...far away from any traffic. We thought it was very cute and begged Monica's parents, Grandpa and Grandma Foster, to come over and buy some shells. They did buy some, but I'm pretty sure in good Foster-Fashion, they got Caleb to lower the price. I digress.

Caleb's new stand was to sell toys. I played along for awhile as he gathered up some broken toys and put them in zip lock bags with hand-written price tags. He wrote $10 for 3 Hot Wheels. He wrote $11 for a couple toys he got with his Happy Meals. And I think he wanted $12 for a remote control car, remote not included. I tried to explain to him that the prices were a little high and that the toys would only be worth what someone was willing to pay. He didn't quite get the concept though, he just smiled and told me what Lego set he could buy with his $33. I did convince him that setting up his stand at the end of the driveway wasn't going to work and discussed some other ways of selling stuff. I told him about using the computer or that I could take his toys to work and ask other parents to buy them for there kids... In other words, the only thing I could think of from keeping my son from selling his Hot Wheels on a highway shoulder was to buy them for twenty times their worth.

Think of Caleb as Citigroup wanting to sell a bunch of crap and me as the U.S. Government willing to buy all of it at an inflated price. Smart kid.

Giving Treats to the Poor

2008-11-23T23:46:00.000-08:00

Every couple weeks or so, both Caleb and Abby are asked to provide treats for their classes. Yesterday, Monica sent two boxes of granola bars with Caleb for his class to share. Last night, we were all gathered on the couch talking about our days and Monica asked if the kids liked their granola bars. Caleb answered, "I decided to change that."
Monica asked what it meant to "change that"?
Caleb said, "I decided to give the granola bars to the poor people instead".
We're pretty sure that this means that Caleb took his class's treat and put them in boxes for the school's food drive.
What's a parent to do for that? Monica and I tried for few seconds to explain that that food was intended for his class, but it was quickly stopped by our beaming smiles full of pride. What a good kid.
He's well on his way to being jail-free.

Creation of a Shop: Week 5

2008-11-13T09:26:00.000-08:00

Raise the roof! In five days the shop has gone from posts to framed up.

Most of the framing was done this week. It's actually looking like a building now. We had a roof raising party with a few friends (Thanks Stu, Scott and Brian) when we raised and placed the trusses.

For the most part it's gone smothly since I placed the posts. Surprisingly, the buiding is actually level and square (plus or minus an inch), which I'm sure makes my Dad happy. After another few days of work, I'll be working on the roof and then the metal shell.

We raised the trusses with a couple cable jacks that sat on the posts.

Good Morning Daughter

2008-11-08T04:19:00.000-08:00

8:00 AM

Me yelling upstairs to Abby's room: "Abby, breakfast is ready. Please put your clothes on (from your pajamas) and come downstairs".

8:05 AM

Abby come down stairs in her pajamas and eats breakfast.

8:25 AM

Me after Abby's done with breakfast: "Abby, please go upstairs, to your room, and put on your clothes, Mommy has set them out for you".

8:30 AM

Me: "Abby, PLEASE go upstairs and change your clothes." Abby runs upstairs.

8:40 AM

Abby comes downstairs talking to a doll in her hands, still wearing her pajamas. Me: "Abby!, upstairs now!" Abby runs upstairs again.

8:45 AM

Abby walks into the living room still wearing her pajamas. She sees me and yells, "Stop looking at me!". She turns around and runs upstairs again.

8:46 AM

I yell upstairs, "Abby do not come down her until you've put your clothes on, do you understand?"

8:50 AM

I hear Abby on the stairs talking to herself in her typical cutesy voice. And then I realize who I'm dealing with: a girl who no longer is young enough to listen to her Dad. She's sitting on the stairs, (note she has not come down the stairs yet) reading a book IN HER PAJAMAS!!! (see actual photo)

8:52 AM

I go outside to work on the shop contemplating living with a teenage girl for the next 14 years.

Creation of a Shop: Week 4

2008-11-05T19:35:00.000-08:00

Let there be height!!
With manly help of some good friends and family (the best home teachers and father-in-law in the world), we were able to set the gigantic posts. The posts were either 6"X6" or 6"X8" and 20 feet long, thus not easily moved. But with much effort and some rebar to set the braces in the rocky soil, we placed all 13 posts where they needed to be and made them sit straight.
To avoid having to fill the huge holes entirely with concrete, I created a few poor-man forms around the posts. They worked out great for when Mr. Concrete man brought his truck to fill up the holes. The crappy forms are all now covered with concrete so Mr. Inspector can't see the against-code forms.
With all the posts set in place, I was able to remove the braces and bring in some gravel around the site to flatten out the ground inside and around the shop.
It looks great! If I'm not mistaken, it even looks like a shop...kind of?

Election Day '08

2008-11-04T07:33:00.000-08:00

Is it going to be a Maverick Nation or Obama Mania? One thing is for sure, we won't have to watch or listen to all the crappy political adds for a long time.
A few weeks ago Abby learned the Pledge of Allegiance and it melted my heart. A beautiful young American promising to unite our great nation under God's guidance. How different would this election be if that's what all the crooked and creepy politicians focused on?

Creation of a Shop : Week 3

2008-10-22T20:55:00.000-07:00

This week I had to go back to making some bacon to build the shop. (No, the shop is not made out of bacon). Even on my few days off, I didn't get anything done on my massive project. I started to feel pretty down on myself wondering if I was getting into something over my head. I needed to find a power to pull from, to lift me and carry me through building the shop
Let me introduce you to the power of the 'stache...

It has rejuvenated me. I will get this thing done!......My mustache has given me an amazing shot in the arm. Never underestimate the power of the 'stache!! (And if you were wondering, I won't be able to sleep in my bed until I shave either).

For the Love of Sleep

2008-10-04T01:14:00.000-07:00

I've worked the night shift for almost 8 years now. I understand the need for sleep, though I do think sleep is a little over-rated. I can function fine on less shut-eye than most, but I do need some.

This week has been a test of my theory that only a little sleep is needed. Caleb has been acting very weird at night, only sleeping 1-2 hours and then not being able to get back to sleep. It's been one of the hardest weeks of my adult life. Nothing seems to make sense. He broke his arm 2 weeks ago and had a couple hard nights, that made sense though. But now he's not having any pain, he can turn himself in bed fine, but the boy just won't sleep.

This is what she's suppose to look like

I've tried everything from threatening him, yelling at him, sleeping with him, and comforting him, but nothing can keep him asleep for more than 2 hours at a time. Of course all the commotion at night wakes up Abby too, which causes a surreal moment of the entire family wondering around the house at 2 AM. My last idea was to tell him that if he couldn't sleep, he could close his door and play quietly in his room. So at 3 AM, Caleb would wake up, turn on his light and starting playing with his Lego's. I even checked on him a couple times while he was playing and he just smiled and asked if I wanted to play with him. The kicker to all this is that he hasn't been tired during the day either. Monica and I have been walking around like zombies and Caleb hasn't even taken a nap to recoup from his sleepless night.

A moment of Peace as Caleb sleeps

I'm fairly sure this is a phase, I hope this is phase....please, for the love of all that is good on earth, let this be a phase...

Creation of a Shop: Week 2

2008-10-03T03:06:00.000-07:00

With no more jobs to hire out, the rest is up to me and my trusty Kubota tractor to finish the pad for the shop. Code requires that each post hole (our shop has 12 of them) be 32 inches wide and 36 inches deep. For most people, these holes can be dug by simply renting an auger for a few hours, but not for those of us Bible believers who have built our houses on a rock...literally. I was able to use my little back-hoe to dig 10 of the the 12 holes. Unfortunately my ability to dig has a couple down sides. 1) I keep digging the holes too wide, which means I'll have to buy more concrete at $115 cubic yard to fill them. 2) Even my powerful mini-tractor can't dig through solid rock. 3) Someone put the phone line where I needed to dig....three times.

Yes, I listen to AM radio every day. Yes, every other commercial on AM radio says, "call before you dig!". Yes, I dug before I called. Yes, I dug up our phone line. Yes, three times.

The good news was that I received a lesson on phone lines from our good friend Tana. (Thanks Tana, you rock!") After Phone Line 101, I was able to splice the broken line to give us phone and Internet service until Quest came out and put in a new line. For wire, all I had was speaker wire, and it worked like a charm. One note for you future phone service workers out there, the phone wire has a metal sheath around it that is very, very sharp. I've got about a dozen cuts on my fingers to prove it. I dug a trench the entire length of the shop for the phone company to lay down a new line that wouldn't travel under the shop and they came out a few days later and repaired the wire correctly, though the Quest guy was impressed with my speaker-wire fix. Thank you very much.

For the two remaining two holes that were solid rock, I rented a jack-hammer to dig down through the rock. After two full days and a bottle of Ibuprofen, I had dug each hole about 30 inches down. I was six inches too shallow, but I was hitting rock that wouldn't break up, so I gave up.

The county inspector came out at the end of the week and spent a whole 3 minutes glancing at the holes (even the shallow ones) and signed me off to start building. All the lumbar was delivered soon after. Next week...setting the posts...stay tuned for more pics of a ruggedly handsome me.

Creation of a shop: Week 1

2008-09-26T22:02:00.000-07:00

Every man needs a shop, right? After months of dreaming, I actually started moving ground to put in a big shop for our crap this week. It's been a process just to get to this point. First, I bought a ton of toys over the years, then I parked them all in the driveway and told Monica that I need somewhere to put all said toys. My plan worked perfectly.

I got a permit, researched some shops and went with the cheapest building I could build myself. It's called a pole barn. Basically it consists of huge poles with metal siding. Doesn't sound too hard, does it?
The week started by tearing down an existing car port and cutting down a few trees. I really enjoy tearing down stuff.

My life as a lumberjack got off to a bad start. It wasn't exactly as climantic as I had hoped. But we got it done.

Of course nothing is easy in my life and I was reminded of this little fact when I started digging out the side of the hill to create a level pad. You see, I live on a rock. That little biblical story about the man who built his house on a rock sounds good when it rains, but if the man wants to build a shop, he's screwed. They seem to have left that part out.

To tackle the rock-problem we hired a back-hoe guy to use a huge jack hammer and cut into the hill side. $1,000 later, we also needed to remove two 50 ft pine trees. Though, I had offers from friends to cut down the trees on our own, I just couldn't stomach the site of a tree falling on to my house. So we hired a professional. And it took all of about 20 minutes for the man of all men to climb, cut-down, and cut up two huge trees. I felt like a teenage girl watching this guy swing his chainsaw around like it was toy. Why didn't I become a lumberjack? Maybe it had something to do with my max chest press of 90 lbs. Anyway it was cool to watch.
I have been able to put my Kubota to the test though. She's working hard and holding her own. She may not be the biggest tractor, but she has tries hard and looks great in leather pants...sound familiar?

Down Goes Caleb!

2008-09-25T22:15:00.000-07:00

Caleb's athletic career has hit a bump in the road, you could say. He fell on his elbow during his second soccer game and broke his arm. He got tripped from behind and fell directly on his left arm. His first words were, "I broke my arm, I broke my arm". And he was right. I immediately noted his arm was slightly deformed and knew we were heading to the ER. For the most part everything went as well as possible. I used my shirt to splint his arm, Monica went for the car and we headed to an Urgent Care just a couple miles away. Caleb was screaming and yelling some very serious thoughts; "I'm going to let my teammates down", "How can I fold my arms for prayers with a broken arm?", "Can I still play with my Lego's?", "Did Abby cry when she broke her arm?". It was a long couple miles.

Caleb was treated like royalty the first few days after the accident. Any food, any movie, no bed time, he had all he ever wanted. The only problem for our smart little boy? It didn't take him long to starting making some bold requests. Such a cutie though.

The first sign we noticed in the urgent care said, "The approximate current wait time is: 1.5 hrs"....Are you kidding me?...I won't go into a tangent about idiots going the ER/Urgent Care with stupid problems with and without insurance. Can you imagine if we had national health care? A guy ahead of my screaming son was there because a cat bit him...FIVE days earlier. Yeah, seriously. Enough of my tangent.

Caleb waiting for surgery in the Pediatric OR. They gave him a game-boy to ease the stress...plus some drugs.

Being the angry man I can be, we started to get moved up in line. X-rays proved correct Caleb's self diagnosis and a call was put out to the on-call Orthopedist. The orthopedic doctor punted Caleb's case to a pediatric ED on the other side of town (in the hospital where I work). We were about head to another 2-hour wait, when we decided to call the pediatric-ER and ask if we could skip the waiting part and be admitted. The pediatric surgeon was called and told us to go home and come to the pediatric operating room on Monday for surgery. Thus, the second waiting room was averted, thank goodness.

It was one of the toughest days of my life. Caleb has never been one to whine about pain, and he was as tough a kid as he could be. But he was in a lot of pain and there was nothing I could do. I felt as hopeless as I ever have, it was awful. I can recall my Dad crying twice in my life and I've cried twice in two weeks...I'm such a wuss!!

Caleb was crying on and off before surgery telling us how scared he was.The only problem was that every time he looked to his parents for strength, we were crying too.

The next few days, we've managed well as a family. Mon and I have provided to Caleb's every need. We loaded up on movies, made his favorite foods, and played with him as much as possible. Abby's been very supportive too.

The surgery went as well as possible. Another day of pain, but Caleb was tricked into taking more pain medicine. He's gotten better each day. He went back to school four days later and was very upset when we insisted on him not taking the bus.

Caleb woke up from surgery spouting out random thoughts, but the one that did make sense was that he wanted a Popsicle.

We have received lots of support from family and friends. Caleb's friends, soccer teammates and primary teacher have sent all cards and gifts. The Medford Gang has sent Caleb and Abby care packages, which were a huge hit. And we thank you for all the phone calls. We'll keep you posted on his condition. Don't give up on Caleb's athletic career (or at least him NOT going to jail).

Turkey Time

2008-09-16T17:43:00.000-07:00

When we first moved to our current home, we would see this flock of turkeys once a month or so. But lately the turkeys are taking over our yard, deck and driveway. They were kind of cute at first, but along with the cute big birds has come the cute big turds. Our lawn looks like we have 15 dogs.
The biggest upside has got to be Abby's yelling at the wild birds when she's outside. She charges up to them and has they run away she yells with her meanest voice "Hey turkey's, get out of our yard!"

Another funny thing is when we're inside the house, we knock on the windows and the window tapping causes the turkeys to goggle in unison. It makes for great entertainment.

Caleb's 1st goal

2008-09-15T17:49:00.000-07:00

Caleb's road to professional sports continued this weekend. He's playing on a under-7 soccer league this fall. They play 3 on 3 with no goalie. He's a real aggressive player, sometimes actually pushing over other players (and teammates). I'm torn between telling him to settle down or letting him stay aggressive. Most kids his age are pretty timid, so I like that he's at least going after the ball. I just feel bad for the other kids when they're lying on the ground crying after Caleb knocked them over.

Here's Caleb's first goal of his career. Unfortunately his team still lost 12-2, but that's not what's important......what's really important is that the pro scouts see that Caleb scored a goal.

My favorite part is after Caleb scored the goal, he turned to a kid on the other team and talked a little trash. That's my boy!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!

All Powerful Moo-Moo

2008-09-14T18:00:00.001-07:00

Before Caleb was born, we bought a small stuffed animal/stuffed blanket thing from Fred Meyer, mostly because it matched the colors Monica had decorated his room. We had no idea this thing would end up with more power than the president of the United States.
Caleb slept with the animal as an infant and immediately started to only sleep in his crib when the fuzzy animal was with him. For some strange reason, Monica and I thought it was a cow. Looking back we feel like idiots for thinking this since he is yellow (like a giraffe) ,has small pointy ears (like a giraffe), and he probably came with a tag that said he was a giraffe (like a giraffe). Thinking he was a cow though, we started to call him a sound that our little son could say at a young age, "moo-moo". It was cute a first, but now Moo-Moo has turned into an obsession with young Caleb. At 6 years old, I can't think of one day that Caleb hasn't slept with Moo-Moo. He's taken Moo-Moo on road trips, to strangers' homes for comfort, to grandmas' houses, etc. Everywhere Caleb sleeps, Moo-Moo goes.
As Caleb got older, we, as parents, have had less ammunition to threaten Caleb during times of discipline. Put him in time out, he doesn't care. Spank his little butt, no big deal. Ground him from the TV or computer, he goes outside. And I knew we were messing with holy ground one day last week, when I threatened a sassy Caleb that I'd take away Moo-Moo for the night. He kept on misbehaving though and you can guess where this story is going. I reluctantly told Caleb that Moo-Moo wasn't going sleep with him that night. I'm pretty sure Caleb's eruption rivaled Mt. St. Helen's. The first thing Caleb did was beg for forgiveness, literally. Then he ran to his room and hid Moo-Moo so we couldn't get him. And when bed-time came, all hell broke loose. The screaming, crying, and sobbing lasted for hours. Caleb wouldn't stay in his bed, he kept coming down to the living room begging to see Moo-Moo again.
I played along for awhile. I even took Caleb and we tucked Moo-Moo into my bed. Then Caleb came downstairs again and he wanted just to look at pictures on the computer of Moo-Moo. He came down again asking what time he could wake up to get Moo-Moo back. He even came down asking me if it was morning yet! I finally told him to sleep on the couch by me so we both could have some peace. He feel asleep within a few minutes which allowed me to finally finish my episode of 'Man Vs. Wild'.
When Mon and I went to bed, we found out that Caleb had snuck in our room and made sure Moo Moo was comfortable. He had placed Moo-Moo on the chair, with Caleb's blanket keeping him warm, and a book propped up for Moo-Moo to read. How cute is that! The kid really cares about his buddy Moo-Moo, that's for sure.

Abby's 1st Day of School

2008-09-11T17:57:00.000-07:00

Abby's first day of pre-school was today. Like most parents with more than one child, her "firsts" are our "seconds" so they don't get as much hype.
There is no doubt in my mind that Abby will thrive in a school setting. She has been pretending to do school-work with her brother since age 2. She doesn't have to pretend anymore though, she's now going to a real school.
Mon and I are very proud of the angel Abby has turned out to be, though we are fully aware that there's a slight chance that her angel-like attributes may wear out the closer she comes to being a teenager. A friend of mine who's daughters are currenly teens, saw Abby jump in my lap a few days ago and said, "Enjoy it while she still likes you in the same room". We do enjoy Abby very much. She's our princess.

I May Be a Nurse, But I'm Still A Man

2008-09-03T20:42:00.000-07:00

To say that Caleb was excited about school would be somewhat misleading, truth is he was estactic, but not about school as much as riding the bus. He woke up, put his clothes on and came into our bedroom at 6 AM stating he was ready and asking if we could take him to the bus stop. The bus doesn't come until 9. I worked the previous night, so I was pretty tired. I knew it was going to be an exciting time, but I wasn't really prepared for what happened. The bus came, Caleb gave Monica and me a hug and then ran to the bus, never looking back. He didn't even sit on our side of the bus to wave good-bye! Then I lost it, I dropped my man-hood and cried. He's all grown up. Monica was laughing at me. And I quickly snapped out of it. Hopefully I'll get over this sappy stuff now and get on with my life. I need to build something, chop up something, or maybe even kill an animal and drag it home....anything to regain my swagger.

Dear Caleb

2008-08-31T05:27:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, you start kindergarten. I've tried to explain that you'll be in school for the next 20 years, so just take it one day at a time.. but you don't seem to be catching my sarcasm.
I'm stunned that you are now entering public education. My boy is growing up. You haven't even started full-day school and I already miss my helper.
You're growing up too fast. A few days ago you liked watching Oobi and Scooby Doo, but now you watch Icarly and 'Drake and Josh'. Your Mom was quizzing you the other day if you knew what the show was about and asked you if you knew what a 'date' was and you answered "Mom...come on, you know..it's when a boy and a girl go to a restaurant and then do something fun". You're only six!! Stop that!
I remember before you were born wanting you so bad it hurt. And your life has brought me more joy than I thought. You are everything I could want in a son. I am deeply humbled that God has been so good to me that he sent you to me. God sent me a Jazz fan, how lucky is that!! I promise that in return to the blessing of being your Dad, I will give you every opportunity in the world to be successful and happy.
So as you move on to the "big" school. Please know that I love you very much. You make me heart melt. You make one of the happiest men alive smile often. You, along with your mom and sister, are my passion. Have a good day son.

Why would you take pictures of naked men?

2008-08-30T02:51:00.000-07:00

I'm lucky to have great parents and yhen to have married into some great parents-in-law too. My Pa-in-law, Stuart, and I have spent a lot of time together the last couple years. We've had a lot of fun, got a lot done, and he's taught me a ton (I'm a poet and didn't know it??). Other than learning to fix things, save money, and sail, one of the greatest attributes that the Stu-man has is that he doesn't care what you think. And I love that about him (That's why I'm pretty sure he doesn't mind me telling this story) Though, he may have taken his care-free attitude a little too far a few days ago.
We were at a water-slide park for a family-day and following the water time I took Caleb to change out of our wet clothes. To avoid my hair from looking like a dog had just been attacked by a fire hose, I had brought some shampoo to wash my goldie-locks. But in the wide-open men's locker room, there wasn't a shower? I'm still a little confused of the lack of showers, but I digress. So I started washing my hair in the next best thing, the sink (You didn't think I was going to say the urinal, did you?) As I was finishing up rinsing my hair hunched over in the sink, I noted a camera flash. I turned around to see Stuart taking pictures of me. He was just about to laugh about it, when a big ole' burly, Harley-riding, beast-of-a-man growled, "Who's taking pictures in the locker room!" I'm pretty sure Stu would have crawled on his hands and knees along the gross floor if he could have. The big ole dude turned around from the urinal and looked right at Stu and repeated his roar, "Are you taking pictures in the men's locker room?" Stuart sheepishly tried to explain that he was just taking pictures of a guy washing his hair in the sink, but it was too late. I had locked up the moment in my head under the hilarious file. Good times. I love you Stu. At least I didn't tell the story about you jumping and screaming at little garder snake to only have a girl come over and pick it up with her hands and place it in a bucket for you. I always wondered where Monica got her snake-fighting skills....click here)

Surfing On Water

2008-08-15T22:33:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite sports has become Wakesurfing. It's a sport that's evolved over the last 10 years from wakeboard boats that put up huge wakes.

It's a load of fun and easy on the body, since the boat is only going 10 mph. I can't pull huge tricks, but I have been placing my kids on the surf board between my feet since they could stand.

It's gotten a little more tricky as they're a lot heavier than before but we all have a blast. The coolest thing though is that now Caleb and Abby want to surf with their Dad. Having them not scared of the water is a plus, but having them still think their Dad is cool is sweet. I'm figuring that the "cool Dad" time is slipping away quickly, so I'll relish every moment I can.

Not Silver, Not Wood..Silverwood

2008-08-13T23:39:00.000-07:00

We spent the day with the inlaw clan at the local amusement ride park called Silverwood. For being in the middle of nowhere, it's a fun place to blow through money. We spent the first half of the day at the water park and then the rest of the day on the rides.
The water park was full of wild kids, scantley-clad large women, germs, hairy men, and don't forget the guy with the tatoo all over his head and face. God bless America.
Speaking of scantely clad, Monica smuggled in some home-made cookies into the park despite the rules. What we hadn't planned for was some 14 year old kid with a plastic security badge checking everyones bags. The dude pulled out the box of said contra band and asked Mon what was inside the box. Mon played it cool though and while unbuttoning her blouse a few notches said in her sexy voice, "we have little kids who need cookies". The kid was rattled by Mon's sex appeal and let her take the illegal cookies in. Way to go Mon!

The afternoon evening was spent watching the kids on the kiddy rides and taking in a few roller coster for the grown-ups. They have a new roller coaster that was probably the most thrilling coaster I've ridden called the Aftershock. I took Caleb on a older wooden roller coaster and he had fun. I watched him the whole time sitting next to me and he shear terrror in his face. It was very similiar to the look he had at Lego Land. But again, he said he had fun and wanted to know what ride was next.

We all had fun. A big shout-out goes to Stu and Cody for footing the bill.

That Boy is a Stud

2008-08-10T23:14:00.000-07:00

For those who are new to me, I love sports. If I spent as much time working on world peace that I do following sports, Pres Bush and Muhoud Ahmadinejad would be making out in back of a Volkswagen bus right now (Monica, that's the pres of Iran...he's considered an enemy to the U.S.). And I don't just follow pro sports, I can watch a high school game and enjoy myself just as much. I'm a looser, I know. And I don't want to push my kids into sports, but I do buy their food and provide them with clothes, so it might be a good idea that they play sports. And they should also be really good, if they want those dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets to keep coming.

Caleb went to a sports camp this week. Every morning they played Tee-ball, basketball, and soccer. He had a blast and wanted to show me what he learned every day after camp. On Friday, the last day, the parent were invited to watch the kids play.

Caleb was really in his element. He got to play competitive basketball for the first time, they even had little basketball hoops with little balls for the 5-6 year olds. Caleb was money. He never dribbled the ball once, despite the counselor yelling, "Caleb, you have to dribble the ball", but when he shot the ball, it was a thing of beauty. He even dunked once and pulled down the wimpy rim, just like we do at home. I hope he enjoys slam dunking now, since he is the son of two very white parents. I also got to watch him play T-ball and soccer, again he was one of the most aggressive kids playing. I was in heaven. The boy is a stud and I get to watch him every day for the next 20 years.

Non Family Re-union

2008-08-09T22:53:00.000-07:00

My in-laws have a tradition of inviting a family to their lake house each summer. They sometimes refer to it as a family reunion, but since half the people attending are not related, Monica and I call it the non-family reunion. It's a weekend of food, lake time, more food, sun, friends, and more food. Did I mention the food is always good?

This year was no different. The weather was a little confused, but we took advantage of the windy conditions by sailing and when the weather was calm, we wakeboarded and wake surfed.

As with any extended period of time with my in-laws, I stuck my foot in my mouth about every 15 min. You'd think we'd all be use to me being a dork by now, but I try to keep my insult to appollogy ratio at 1:1.

The kids did great. We tried to be adventurous by staying a night in a tent at the lake (instead of driving 22 min to our comfy beds in our own bedrooms separated by walls 15 feet apart). I think we'll wait until Abby stops screaming in her sleep before we attempt a family tent night again. Caleb and Abby ran all day long with there cousins, aunts and uncles. Their energy level is staggering. Good times.

Grandpa's in Town

2008-07-31T22:14:00.000-07:00

Most people tend to think that their Grandpa is the the coolest guy ever, but they are wrong, because my Grandpa is the coolest guy ever.

Grandpa W. was in town this week, he's on a long trek through the Northwest seeing kids, grand kids and great-grand kids. Caleb and Abby haven't been around him since they were babies, but that didn't stop and instant bond from forming. Of course being the coolest grandpa ever makes it easy for kids to love him, but it was a truly special couple days.

Grandpa played H-O-R-S-E with Caleb and told Abby that she was a princess over and over. We saw some local sites and took Grandpa out to the lake to share with him our good life.

He's a great man that has seem to have figured out our crazy world. It never takes long during aconversation with Grandpa to realize that he knows what's important and what's not.

Three Hour Tour

2008-07-26T20:23:00.000-07:00

My father in law, Stuart (Stu), bought an older sailing catamaran this spring. He has a great passion for sailing, and I'm starting to catch the bug as well (At least, I think that's what that rash is from). He purchased a Nacra, which is similar to the more popular Hobie-cat, but a whole lot faster. We've taken it out a half dozen times this year and it's been a blast.

Yesterday, I was playing Mr. Mechanic on my boat and he came along to provide some muscle (two nurses = one man)(yes, he's a nurse too). During our successful replacement of the steering cable on my boat, the wind was howling, and we both knew we had to go out for a quick sail...despite both our wives waiting for us at home.

There were white capped waves across the lake blowing onto our shore so it took several attempts just to get out pass the docks. We have yet to master getting off the dock while looking like we know what we're doing. This time was no different as we crashed into a neighbor's dock, turned around, ran onto the beach, turned around again, got the dagger board stuck in the mud, turned around, then after barely avoiding another neighbor's dock, finally made it out to the deep stuff.

Once in the deep, I think we know what to do and with that strong wind we were flying. These Nacra boats are pretty simple crafts, just two hulls, a sail and a trampoline to sit on. We had brought a couple folding stadium seats to sit on, a bottle of water, a couple life jackets and Stu never goes anywhere without his cell phone.

We were cruising for about 15 min when I mentioned to Stu we should tie up the life jackets (you didn't think we'd actually be wearing the life jackets did you?) and seats. I had just buckled my life jacket around the mast when we rose up on one hull. Now these boats are made to ride on one hull, but we're not exactly at the level yet. But the next 10 seconds would change our level of sailing quickly. The side I was on rose about 5 feet, Stu tried to steer us down to the water, but the wind took the boat over on it's side. I was standing on the now horizontal mast for a few seconds deciding were to jump and Stuart was swimming to try and catch the boat.

These boats are suppose to be fairly easy to right once they've tipped over, but I have a good 1-2 hours of my life to prove otherwise. We pulled, pushed, swung, swore, and did everything else to try and get the beast right side up, but couldn't do it. Some guy even showed up with his boat and tried to pull us over, to no avail. The wind finally took us to the shore, which in retrospect, sounds like a safe and easy place to right the boat, but not for 'ole Stu and me. We looked like Larry, Moe and Curly trying to pull the boat over. Just when we thought we figured it out, we were raising the mast and it got stuck in some trees overhanging the shore. We did finally get it right side up and then we repeated our song-and-dance routine to get the boat into deep water again. It took some time to go up-wind back to the lake house, but we did remain calm and with smiles on our faces.

The stadium seats and water bottle were our only casualties (other than our egos), Stu had grabbed his life jacket as he went overboard, my life jacket remained buckled to the mast the whole time, and Stu's cell phone had amazingly made the ride inside an open pocket on the trampoline. After arriving to the dock, we took the ski-boat out and found the seats on the shore.
One of my ultimate goals is to sail the world with my family...that's sail the world with both hulls in the water at all times.

Flesh-Eating Creatures Attack

2008-07-18T03:15:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I walked out of the garage with Caleb and I thought I saw a cat near where we stack our fire wood. Since I was with Caleb, I walked bravely to investigate the new found animal, but it ran under some wood. Caleb went back to the garage to put on his shoes, which gave me a chance to revert to my scardy-cat mode. I grabbed a shovel and started to turn over some wood. A few seconds after messing around with the shovel a killer animal came out of the rubbish, charging at me with his blood-filled eyes. With no time to react, I froze like a barbie doll, held the shovel above my head and screeched like a young school girl. The rabid animal ran passed my ankles and darted into the woods. I nearly lost my life, I'm sure of it. Caleb came back out of the garage to see his "brave" dad and asked why I had the shovel? "ahhh, to scare the animal". Then he asked why I made that funny noise? "Ahhh, also to scare the animal". I then went inside to the get online and figure out what just had try to eat me. I found a few videos on youtube of the vicious animals called marmots. Here some links:

You can now see, why I was fearing for not only my life, but the lives of my entire family.

Holding the Truck Together With Zip Ties

2008-07-17T03:21:00.000-07:00

All is well in Spokandy land. We've spent lots of time at the lake despite some days of high winds. I even took the kids out on the catamaran one evening (when there was hardly any wind). They were bored within 20 min of sailing and wanted to jump in. I still have some time before asking them to spend 2-3 years living on a sailboat, hopefully there attitude towards sailing will change.
We're back to projects. I used some of my new found mechanic skills and replaced the fuel pump in my truck, it wasn't too bad. Does swearing count as a bad thing when working on engines? I think there should be some leeway for cussing during certain activities like car/boat repairs, home repairs, sporting events, exercise, dealing with young kids, dealing with teens, talking to liberals and when killing spiders. Anyway after the truck smelling like gasoline every time I stop at red light for the past 5 years, the problem is no fixed. Hopefully those zip ties hold....I'm not kidding about the zip ties.

Sinking the Family Boat

2008-07-08T01:49:00.000-07:00

Until a few days ago, I still hadn't put our boat in the water due to cold weather. I also had done some work on it this spring, mainly changing out the engine-cooling water pump and serpentine belt. It was a major pain in the butt to replace because of it's location on the bottom of the engine compartment. But the boat shops are charging $100/hr for service time, so I'm sure I saved some $. I think those places must hire midgets with 6-foot arms to work on these boats though. Anyway, I got it all back together and all shined up. Stuart (my father in law), the kids and I took the boat up to the lake. Stuart dropped us off at the ramp, the boat started up, the kids jumped in and we headed across the lake to the Foster's lake place. We were about half-way across the lake when the over-heat alarm went off....crap! I shut down the boat and opened the engine compartment like I knew what to do, and noted the bottom was full of water...super-crap!! (Yes, I had put the plug in). I turned on the bilge for a while and let the engine cool down some. After a few minutes of lying to the kids about why we weren't going anywhere, I started up the engine again, then I went back a looked in the compartment while it was running and saw the bilge wasn't keeping up with how much water was coming in...super-duper crap!! We were sinking....OK the boat wasn't sinking, but my stomach was. I called Stuart, who must have been talking to someone about something much more important than this grand kids floating in the middle of a cold lake (For the record, he claims he never heard it ring). Then I called Mon to tell her I loved her and that if she remarries, I'll haunt her underwear drawer with spiders....actually I told her to keep calling her Dad to go back to the ramp and pick us up. I was stuck in a quandary though: Should I run the engine while too hot to get to shore or should I wait and risk taking on too much water? I did a little of both, shutting down the engine for short periods while keeping a close eye on the water level around the engine. As the engine got hotter and the water level rose, steam from the hot metal starting billowing out the back. Soon though, the steam turned into dark smoke as I'm guessing the black paint started to burn off the engine. Within about a 1/2 mile of the ramp, another boat started coming toward us. I figured they'd be a good back-up plan as I was about to wave them down (as if the black smoke didn't trigger a cry for help), but as we got closer, I noticed the boat was full of teenage girls...I remember thinking..."I'll take my chances, thanks". The whole time the kids smelled the fear in me, Caleb kept climbing under the bow cushion and Abby sat perfectly still with her mouth wide open. When I was within a few hundred feet of the ramp, I yelled at some other boaters on ramp that I needed to beach my boat quickly. A couple guys scurried around and moved there boats to make room for me. And a couple other guys moved their trucks to allow Stuart (who was called by Mon) to back up the trailer. I ran the boat up on the muddy shore and killed the engine. Other than the fishermen Larry and his other brother Larry who were trying to diagnose my boats problems, the next 1/2 hr was spent trailering the boat, draining the water, and letting it cool down. When it was finally safe to stick our heads in the engine compartment, Stuart found a large water hose that had slipped off the water pump...once again I failed as a mechanic. It wasn't too much of a fix the next day, it took me an hour or so. (It probably would have taken the long-armed midget 15 minutes). We put the boat in water and she's run fine since. This concludes the longest post ever.

More Romantic Than an 8th Grader

2008-07-08T01:47:00.000-07:00

We're back to the good-life after our Oregon Vacation. The first few days home were busy getting the house back to order. Before we left for Medford, it was still a cool spring, but while we were gone, summer arrived in Spokane which shot the weeds and grass up. I mowed our park (sometimes referred to as Wallace Field) the first couple days. Only took me 4.5 hrs with my push mower. And that was just the half I'm taking care of. Maybe I'll get a ride-on mower for my Birthday....anybody....only 13 more shopping days left. On the other half of the park I mowed the the letters 'CW + MF'. All the letters were about 20 feet tall. I know, I know...I'm a romantic, what can I say? Though when Mon finally noticed it, her response was, and this is a quote. "What are we, in 8th grade?"...OUCH!!